Infidelity Expert Says Happy Husbands Cheat Too

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New York infidelity expert Ruth Houston says that contrary to popular belief, happy husbands cheat too; and good marriages are not immune to infidelity.

A New York infidelity expert has dared to expose one of the biggest myths regarding cheating husbands, infidelity and extramarital affairs.

Most people are under the impression that happily married men don't have extramarital affairs.

But infidelity expert Ruth Houston, founder of http://www.InfidelityAdvice.com and author of Is He Cheating on You - 829 Telltale Signs says happy husbands cheat, too.

Houston, a nationally-recognized infidelity expert who is frequently called on by the media to comment on infidelity issues in the news, says, "While it may come as a surprise to most people, it's really no secret that happy husbands cheat, too. Researchers in this area have known for quite some time that a man's happiness, or lack thereof, is not a determining factor in whether or not he will have an extramarital affair."

Infidelity Studies Which Support This Claim

Houston cites several studies to back this up:

  •     Early research done by the late Dr. Shirley Glass, often referred to as the "Godmother of infidelity research", revealed that when a man cheats, it doesn't mean there's a problem in his marriage. Over half the cheating husbands in Dr. Glass's landmark infidelity study said they were happy with their wives.
  •     In an infidelity study published earlier this year in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 75% of the cheating husbands who were questioned, said they did NOT have "lots of marital problems" prior to their affair.
  •     A study in the May 2008 Journal of Marriage and Family reported that even among couples who considered their marriages to be happy, one spouse still had an extramarital affair.
  •     An infidelity study published in the June 2008 issue of Family Process, couples who said that either they or their spouse had an affair, reported no signs of unhappiness.

"Says Houston, "You can see from the research that has been done, happy husbands cheat too. It's not just men in problem marriages or men who are unhappy with their wives who are having extramarital affairs. Unlike female infidelity, most male infidelity is not related to unhappiness or dissatisfaction with his marriage or his mate."

Why Expose the Myth Now?

Houston says she felt compelled to speak out about this myth because of a controversial new infidelity book which was recently released. Houston explains, "The Truth about Cheating - Why Men Stray and What You Can Do About It" leads wives to believe that keeping their husbands happy will prevent them from having extramarital affairs. "

She continues, "The book's author , Gary Neuman, a psychologist and marriage counselor promotes the belief that if a wife keeps her husband happy enough by constantly stroking his ego, giving him all the sex he wants, and catering to his every whim, he's guaranteed not to cheat. As we can see from all the research, that simply isn't true."

"Keeping your husband happy is not the answer" says Houston, "It's time to stop perpetuating the myths that happily married husbands don't cheat on their mates, and that certain behavior on the part of a wife will guarantee that her husband won't cheat."

Problems Caused by Perpetuating These Myths

Houston points out two problems that can arise from that keeping these myths alive.

  •     It gives women in happy marriages a false sense of security.

"Says Houston, Approximately 50% to 70% of men cheat on their mates. At least 2/3 of the women being cheated on have no idea their husbands are having an affair. Women who believe that a happy husband or a good marriage make them immune to infidelity eventually become one of the 26 million unsuspecting wives who have no idea their husbands are having an affair."

  •     It makes wives with cheating husbands feel that it's their fault their husbands had an affair.

Houston says, "This myth makes a female infidelity victim feel that her husband cheated because she didn't do enough to make or keep him happy. A wife is not to blame for her husband's affair. The truth is that most extramarital affairs are totally unrelated to anything that the wife did or didn't do. Cheating was the choice he made, and the cheater has no one to blame but himself."

What Wives Can Do

The message that happy husbands cheat, and that even good marriages are susceptible to extramarital affairs is not one of doom. The situation is not as hopeless as it may seem.

While there is nothing a wife can do that will absolutely guarantee that her husband will not cheat, Houston says there are ways to decrease the likelihood that he'll have an extramarital affair. Forewarned is forearmed.

Houston advises wives to familiarize themselves with the early warning signs of infidelity, since many of them are quite subtle and easy to overlook.

"The best defense is a good offense." Says Houston, "A wife who's able to spot the early warning signs of infidelity may be able to head infidelity off at the pass. Catching the affair in its infancy makes it easier to stop infidelity in its tracks."

Houston's free tip sheet, "21 Ways to Spot a Cheating Mate," will make it easier for wives to spot many of the warning signs of infidelity. To request a free copy, e-mail InfidelityAdvice @ gmail.com with 21 Ways - prw in the subject line.

Houston also warns wives that some men are more prone to infidelity than others. She advises wives who are married to potential cheaters, to be especially alert. To find out if your husband is one of these potential cheaters, request a free copy of Houston's 7 question "Potential Cheater's Quiz" by e-mailing InfidelityAdvice @ gmail.com with Cheater's Quiz - prw in the subject line.

For more information about infidelity, cheating husbands and extramarital affairs, visit http://www.InfidelityAdvice.com or Ruth Houston's infidelity blog at http://infidelitynewsandviews.blogspot.com

About Ruth Houston:

Infidelity expert Ruth Houston is the founder of http://www.InfidelityAdvice.com and the author of "Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs, "which lists practically every known sign of infidelity, including the subtle signs people usually overlook.

Frequently called on by the media to comment on infidelity issues in the news, Ruth has been quoted in "USA Today, the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, the Los Angeles Times, New York Daily News, Cosmopolitan, the New York Post, the Chicago Tribune, the Houston Chronicle, the Toronto Sun, Maclean's, MSN Lifestyle, FoxNews.com, ABCNews.com, msnbc.com, Divorce360.com, iVillage, Reuters, AP, UPI "and numerous other print and online media.

Ruth has been a guest on "The Today Show, Good Morning America, CNN, Fox & Friends, The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet, NBC News, BBC, CBC, WCBS, ABC News, Fox News and over 440 other radio and TV talk shows in the United States, Canada, Europe, South America, Australia, New Zealand and the Caribbean.

To interview infidelity expert Ruth Houston,
call 718 592-6039 or e-mail InfidelityExpert @ gmail.com

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