Candidate Gabe Carini is a Game Changer in Upcoming Canadian Federal Election

Share Article

Gabe Carini is a new kind of politician, with a new way of doing business. He doesn't belong to a political party, he belongs to the people. He doesn't have a million dollar war chest to run a campaign, he has $937. He's running to be the next Prime Minister of Canada. Not by collecting votes, but by making Friends. So the question is, "are you looking for just another politician, or are you looking for a Friend?" Become a Friend of Gabe Carini.

"Carini in his Sunday best"

Cutting 100% of government spending to 40% of the 1999 Gross Domestic Product (adjusted for inflation), and given the net present value of the Canadian dollar, round to the nearest nickel.

Gabe Carini, the newest independent candidate to appear on Canada's national political scene, is mounting a grassroots, online campaign at Gabe Carini - Campaign Home And he need's the media's help to spread the word. His goal? To become the next Prime Minister of Canada. And because he isn't allowed on the ballot, Gabe will not be collecting votes. Instead, he'll be collecting friends on MySpace.

Since becoming an online prescience several weeks ago, Gabe Carini has seen his number of friends increase exponentially. And with a disenfranchised public behind him, he's confident about reaching his ultimate goal: garnering 15 million MySpace friends before Election Day - a figure equal to that of Canada's entire electorate. This, he feels, will be a mandate no political party can dispute.

Gabe Carini feels his 'friends over votes' approach is fitting, noting that, "I've always believed a true leader is defined by his personal allies, not by the ballot box. Joseph Stalin had huge electoral support, but really only had three friends. History now regards him as a brutal dictator. Coincidence?"

Gabe Carini's campaign was created by Mark De Angelis and Charles Ketchabaw, two members of the Toronto comedy community who felt an overwhelming need to take some of the hot air out of the current Canadian election.

The cornerstone of Carini's online campaign is his series of hard-hitting self-produced viral campaign videos, found when you click the 'video' link of Gabe Carini's Campaign home page.. They tackle all the major issues facing Canadians, from global warming to broken campaign promises to swimming pool companies making suction valves so dangerously powerful, they could siphon the intestines out of an eight-year-old kid.

Some of Gabe Carini's visionary policies:

  • "Establishing a 'No Questions Asked' Handgun/Medieval Sword Exchange Program
  • "Cutting 100% of government spending to 40% of the 1999 Gross Domestic Product (adjusted for inflation), and given the net present value of the Canadian dollar, round to the nearest nickel."
  • "Creating a quantifiable, easy-to-understand "Opposite-of-Anything-Stephane-Dion-Talks-About" platform."
  • "Doing something about all those parking tickets. I mean, seriously."

Gabe Carini on Quebec residents voting for the Bloc: "It's kinda like when you were a kid, and you were the guy picking players for your hockey team. Within that group was that one friend of yours that you just knew you had to pick first. And you picked him out of loyalty, despite the fact he was a terrible hockey player. And also, he was mentally challenged, and that made you feel bad. That's kinda the way federal politics work in Quebec."

gabecarini (at) gmail.com

###

Share article on social media or email:

View article via:

Pdf Print

Contact Author

Charles Ketchabaw

416.895.7825
Email >