3 Types of Revenge Cheating, Retaliatory Affairs Revealed by Infidelity Expert Ruth Houston

New York infidelity expert Ruth Houston describes 3 types of retaliatory affairs and explains why revenge cheating seldom works.

New York (PRWEB) March 13, 2008 -- The retaliatory affairs New York Gov. David Paterson had in response to his wife's extramarital affair are a common response to a spouse's infidelity.

"Revenge cheating is a common response by infidelity victims when they learn of a cheating spouse's extramarital affair," says infidelity expert Ruth Houston, founder of www.InfidelityAdvice.com and the author of Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs. "The infidelity victim's desire to seek revenge is natural, but dangerous response, because if acted upon, it can backfire in many ways."

Houston, an infidelity expert who is frequently called on by the media to comment on infidelity issues in the news, says, "Infidelity victims often resort to retaliatory affairs as a means of punishing the cheating spouse - or evening the score. But they rarely have the desired effect."

3 Types of Revenge or Retaliatory Affairs

Houston, who has been doing in-depth research on infidelity for the past 15 years, describes the 3 types of revenge cheating or retaliatory affairs below:

The One-time Episode of Revenge Cheating

An isolated incident in which the infidelity victim has a one-time affair with the person who is most available to them at the time. Many of these types of retaliatory affairs fall into the category of one night stands -- sometimes with total strangers - and are often committed under the influence of drugs or alcohol. The infidelity victim thus feels vindicated, even if the spouse or significant other who cheated on them never finds out about the revenge affair.

The Carefully Orchestrated Retaliatory Affair

Some victims of infidelity go to great lengths to cheat with the person they feel will cause the most emotional damage to the person who cheated on them. This could be the cheater's best friend; a brother, sister, or other family member; a business rival or a deadly enemy. Then they carefully orchestrate the situation to ensure that the cheating spouse or significant other finds out about the retaliatory affair. This type of retaliatory affair is designed to cause total devastation, or extreme emotional "shock and awe."

The Non-Sexual Revenge Affair

For personal reasons (religious, moral, ethical) some infidelity victims who seek revenge cannot bring themselves to become sexually involved with someone else. So they attempt to even the score, or strike back at the cheating spouse or significant other with an online or cyber affair, or an emotional affair with someone they come in contact with on a regular basis. Because the infidelity victim is in an emotionally vulnerable state, a non-sexual revenge affair could easily escalate to a sexual affair.

The Consequences of Revenge Cheating

"The infidelity victim may think he or she is teaching the cheating spouse a lesson - showing the cheater how it feels to be cheated on. But revenge cheating rarely has the intended effect, " says Houston. "Instead of solving the problem, it can make a bad situation worse. It can easily backfire and produce the opposite results. The spouse or partner who cheated first may use the infidelity victim's retaliatory affair as an excuse to continue cheating on their mate, or as justification for having other affairs."

Houston warns, "Revenge cheating is a dangerous game. It can sometimes be the catalyst for domestic violence or worse. Even if it doesn't reach this extreme, revenge cheating is often the beginning of a downward spiral that can eventually destroy what's left of the marriage or relationship. What's remarkable in the case of Gov. David Paterson and his wife, is that they were able to overcome this dual infidelity with professional help."

An Alternative to Retaliatory Affairs

"I always advise against revenge cheating in any form, because it rarely ends there." says Houston, who consults regularly with both male and female victims of infidelity. "There are usually negative repercussions of some kind - extreme guilt on the part of the person having the retaliatory affair, or it may incite violent, destructive, or aggressive behavior on the part of the revenge cheater's mate."

Houston, whose website InfidelityAdvice.com offers practical advice to infidelity victims, advises, "The best revenge is to refuse to compromise your dignity and your principles by stooping to the cheater's level and having a retaliatory affair. Seek qualified professional help; put your partner's affair behind you; and with or without the cheater, move on with your life. That may actually turn out to be the best revenge of all."

For more information on revenge cheating, retaliatory affairs, or getting even with a cheating mate, visit infidelity Ruth Houston's Infidelity News and Views Blog at http://infidelitynewsandviews.blogspot.com, to read the two posts entitled

     •     Why Revenge Cheating and Retaliatory Affairs Don't Work When Trying to Get Even with a Cheating Spouse
     •     Getting Revenge on a Cheating Mate

FREE Report on What NOT To Do When a Spouse Cheats

Because the desire for revenge can often cloud an infidelity victim's judgment and may result in actions he or she may later regret, Houston has compiled a free special report entitled, 5 Things You SHOULDN'T Do if He's Cheating on You. Despite the title, the information applies to both male and female infidelity victims. To request a free copy, e-mail InfidelityInfo@gmail.com with 5 Things-prw in the subject line.

For more information about infidelity, cheating spouses, and extramarital affairs, visit www.InfidelityAdvice.com or http://infidelitynewsandviews.blogspot.com

About Ruth Houston:
Infidelity expert Ruth Houston, is the founder of InfidelityAdvice.com and the author of Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs, which documents practically every known sign of infidelity.

Frequently called on by the media to comment on popular infidelity issues and infidelity-related breaking news, Ruth has been quoted in USA Today, the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, the Los Angeles Times the New York Daily News, the New York Post, Newsday, , the Chicago Tribune, the San Francisco Chronicle, the Christian Science Monitor, Cosmopolitan, msnbc.com, FoxNews.com, ABC News.com, MSN Lifestyle, MSN Money, iVillage, the National Post, Maclean's , Entertainment Online, LiveScience.com and numerous other print and online media worldwide.

Ruth has also been a guest on The Today Show, CNN, Fox News, ABC News, NBC News, WCBS News, Fox and Friends, The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet, Ireland's Late Late Show, 1010WINS, Sirius Satellite Radio, Court TV Radio, BBC, CBC, and over 440 radio and TV talk shows in the United States, Canada, Europe, South America, New Zealand, Australia, and the Caribbean.

To interview infidelity expert Ruth Houston, call 718 592-6039 or e-mail InfidelityExpert @ gmail.com

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