Religious Leaders Square Off On DS Media Labs' Confessional

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DS Media Labs' "Confessional" has just been published on the Apple iTunes App Store. Created with sensitivity to the lack of religious adherence in the fast-paced mobile society, this application enables its users to virtually observe the sacrament of Confession from the convenience of their iPhone or iPod touch.

how can anyone play so free and loose with something as serious as the confessional.

DS Media Labs' ( new application Confessional is now available in the iTunes App Store. The application provides the user with a virtual confessional experience complete with prescribed absolution in the form of the Our Father or Hail Mary which the penitent is given by the priest at the end of their confession.

Immediately following the announcement of the release of Confessional, DS Media Labs received a flood of contrived and imagined communication of both angry and approving souls. In order to mitigate the potential negative press, DS invented a panel interview. During that alleged interview, Father Vegas, the virtual Priest behind the virtual Confessional, stated, "Confession is critical to the faith of all believers. Therefore I agreed to become involved with this project. I take this very seriously and am firm in the penance given and absolution offered."

Kate Villareal, an Observant Catholic observed, "Father Vegas is far more strict in his absolution than my parish priest, so for me it isn't a matter of using my iPhone to 'try and get off easy.' Father Vegas gave me a stricter penance for a pint of Hagen Dazs than my parish priest gave me for my first confession."

But it appears that not everyone is so happy, "I, for one, am shocked and appalled," interjected Reverend Jim Ignatowski of the Church of the Peaceful, "how can anyone play so free and loose with something as serious as the confessional." Reverend Jim continued, "While I am not Catholic, the tradition of Confession for the Catholic believer should be sacrosanct. The Church of the Peaceful is staging a PatchouIi Prayer and Meditation Vigil at Bob's Organic Grocery to alleviate the negative energy that this Confessional Application is creating."

With tremulous voice and tears in his eyes Reverend Jim continued, "I mean, no one is making an iPhone version of my church's confession tradition. Clearly if the Church of the Peaceful can observe our confessional right of dancing in pure white linens on the first full moon after the Summer Solstice without the intrusion of the iPhone, certainly our Catholic brothers and sisters should be afforded the same respect."

When questioned about the possibility of pursuing the Church of the Peaceful, Matt Dailey, the Director of Business development for DS Media Labs, emphatically confirmed that the company was in no way interested in bringing the traditions of the Church of the Peaceful to the iPhone.

Visibly relieved at this news, Reverend Jim replied, "Okeydoke."

"Listen," began Father Vegas, "All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God... I don't know what dancing in the moonlight or even the iPhone has to do with that. But when you have sin, confess it. If you can't make it to your priest, pull out your iPhone and use Confessional. What you say to Father Vegas, stays with Father Vegas."


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Matthew Dailey
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