The Abortion Black Hole: "Don't Talk and Don't Cry"
We’ve taken the issue of choice out of the back-alley. It is time to let women who have made choices grieve their loss without the spotlight of political or cultural rhetoric.
Buena Vista, CO (PRWEB) November 10, 2009 -- After voluntarily terminating a pregnancy, women are on their own to process and resolve the natural loss they may feel. Women are abandoned in their sadness because the idea of grief over an abortion choice is a foreign concept in our culture. There is an implication that the choice in and of itself is the closure. This is actually not the case for many women. Women don’t talk or cry publically; for many the closure never comes.
You Are Not Alone
There is no place or public venue to grieve an abortion in our culture. This type of grief is called disenfranchised grief. The concept of disenfranchised grief and choice decisions was recently discussed in an article titled, “Secret Heartaches” by Trudy M. Johnson. “Women sit in silence out of fear of being misunderstood or incurring shame or judgment regarding their decision to voluntarily terminate a pregnancy. According to some studies, the immediate relief to the crisis does come, but as time moves along, the grief begins to set in.”
Finding the courage to look for help processing grief after an abortion can be difficult. It is ironic that women can walk into the front door of a clinic to get an abortion, but their choices are few when it comes to grieving the loss connected to that decision. After the choice, the clear cultural message is “don’t talk and don’t cry.”
Dr. Christiane Northrup, M.D., F.A.C.O.G., recently acknowledged the importance of grieving an abortion decision. Dr. Northrup is author of one of the nation’s leading books on women’s health, titled, Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom. Dr. Northrup notes, “As a former abortion provider, I’ve long known about the need for grieving voluntary pregnancy termination (‘vpt’).”
Missing Pieces.Org, a counseling group in the heart of the rocky mountains of Colorado, has developed a resource for women needing to grieve the loss of their voluntary pregnancy termination or “vpt.” The book, C.P.R. ~Choice Processing and Resolution speaks to all cultures and faiths with no condemnation. C.P.R. is written by professional therapist, Trudy M. Johnson.
In a recent interview Ms. Johnson said, “This book is a culmination of a lifetime of information for me. I’ve experienced a choice decision personally at age 20 and had to find hit and miss, secretive, back-alley solutions to reach closure over my choice. I’ve run the whole gamut of educational preparation to help women, including becoming a chaplain to learn grief counseling.”
“C.P.R. purposely does not use the word ‘abortion’ anywhere in the book,” she states. “The word ‘abortion’ in itself incites a plethora of political and religious tones. You will not see the 'a-word' in C.P.R. I refer to the procedure as ‘voluntary pregnancy termination’ or ‘vpt.’ This is a brand new concept that helps women separate their own personal experience from shameful stigmas and political rhetoric.”
“The purpose of this book is to help women walk through the whole grieving process on their own without fear and shame. Women can do this in the privacy, comfort and safety of their own home. C.P.R. ~ Choice Processing and Resolution is the book I was looking for and couldn’t find when I was seeking help after my abortion,” Johnson says.
When asked how many women would be interested in a book like C.P.R ~Choice Processing and Resolution , Johnson gave this insight into the world of choice. “Sometimes there can be a misunderstanding in our culture as to just how many women need to go through this grieving process. Who are these women you ask. They are your mother, your sister, your girlfriend or maybe even you. Women who’ve made a choice decision are the largest demographic in our nation. Abortion touches every race, every religion, and every monetary status. Imagine every pro-football stadium (20) in the U.S. filled with only women in the seats. This gives you a visual of just how many women (over one million each year) who might need to process their ‘vpt.’ “
“It is my hope,” Johnson says, “that CPR ~ Choice Processing and Resolution will provide the help after abortion that women desire and that the book is a safe place for all the women in the world to talk and cry about their choice decision.”
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