Stephen Colbert is No Longer White -- Colbert's Membership to the Malan Race Confirmed

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Stephen Colbert's “disability,” color-blindness, makes him an ideal member of the new Malan race.

"...It has been declared that he is no longer Caucasian and has been adopted into a new race."

He's been knighted, received an honorary Doctorate of Fine Arts degree, and now it has been declared that he is no longer Caucasian and has been adopted into a new race. Stephen Colbert, the popular, late-night, news satirist often speaks candidly on his show about his self-diagnosed “disability”: color-blindness. It is, in fact, this very disability that proved the key to his selection as a member of the Malan race.

Colbert has made much of his “race-blindness,” even revealing during his coverage of the Obama inauguration that he believed himself to be a black man.

"Now, I don't see race … People tell me I'm white, and I believe them, because I own a lot of Jimmy Buffett albums," said Colbert in an airing of his multiple Emmy Award-winning show, “The Colbert Report.”

It may come as no surprise to Colbert, then, when he learns later this week that he is neither white nor black. He is Malan.

Colbert was selected to become one of the early members of the fledgling Malan race and is scheduled to receive official Malan membership certification in the coming days.

Mr. Colbert's nomination and subsequent acceptance into the Malan race was based, in large part, on his color-blindness. Malans renounce racial stereotypes and archaic racial definitions, and identify as a racial group by their ideology rather than by, what the group refers to as, external superficialities.

The small-but-growing members of the Malan race found that Mr. Colbert's “race-blindness” typified one of the central tenets that bonds the racial group together, and are pleased to officially welcome him into the race.

As part of the welcome process, Mr. Colbert will receive an official Malan race certificate, as well as helpful tips on how to live in the world as a Malan, and how to educate others on his new racial identity. An expanded FAQ-- a condensed version of which is available on --will also be provided to Mr. Colbert.

The Malan race ( is defined by ideology rather than by superficialities. Malans transcend racial stereotypes and the boundaries of archaic race categories. Malans form bonds based on linkages deeper than skin and, as a result, help move the world closer to racial unity, improved race relations, and toward the end of racism.


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Frida Potente

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