New York, NY (PRWEB) February 11, 2011
Imago Relationship International Executive Director Tim Atkinson recommends couples watch the new movie “Just Go With It”, starring Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston, to observe why people pretend to be someone else in order to protect themselves from vulnerability, which leads to unsatisfying marriages.
In the movie, Sandler’s character, a single plastic surgeon, pretends to be unhappily married in order to attract sympathetic women. “The underlying premise is ‘I’m not good enough as I am’", Atkinson explains, adding that couples do this on many levels in relationships, which prevents the intimate connections people crave.
Atkinson points to a recent survey published by the UK’s Daily Mail http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1282851/Six-10-couples-unhappy-relationship.html, which showed that six out of ten couples are unhappy in their relationships.
People believe they will feel fulfilled when they have created an unconditionally loving relationship, which is what people usually didn’t get as children. Harville Hendrix, PhD, the founder of Imago, teaches that subconsciously couples are trying to re-run their old childhood movie, but with their romantic partner cast in the role of parents. The re-run is intended to have a happier ending where couples finally feel complete. Couples even have an image of their parents in mind, when auditioning potential partners.
But far from being a romantic comedy like “Just go with it” so many people find their relationships turn into tragedy. “To gain approval people hide their faults and ‘play act’ at being the partner they think they should be,” Atkinson says. That’s one reason why the Daily Mail survey and others declare that the #1 couples complaint is lack of connection.
“It’s not that couples don’t talk,” explains Atkinson. “But when they talk they are still acting out their best-self character. They often aren’t getting real with each other, because going beneath the surface and exposing vulnerable traits is emotionally risky.”
“There’s so often that point in a romantic movie when the hero has messed up completely and consistently. His only recourse is to expose his unprotected real self,” says Atkinson. “That’s often the most loving and romantic part of the movie, when the hankies come out and the lovers become genuine and connected.”
But you don’t need to go through a series of indescribably embarrassing comic situations to become connected. Imago teaches couples to connect with each other through a straightforward dialogue. Imago helps couples develop authentic and emotionally intimate relationships through listening techniques, nonjudgmental attitudes, and empathetic listening. Imago Relationship Therapists believe that couples that feel safe enough to become vulnerable to one another create satisfying connections.
Imago Relationships International helps couples restore connection. Weekend couples workshops are available worldwide. Imago has certified over 2,000 licensed therapists to guide couples to learn communication and connection, which was developed by co-founders Harville Hendrix, PhD and Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD. Imago first came to public attention through the New York Times best seller, "Getting the Love You Want." Oprah Winfrey dubbed Hendrix "The Marriage Whisperer". Calling him "Her favorite therapist" Oprah has invited him on her show 17 times. Couples can start learning how Imago creates a better relationship for free, by visiting http://www.GettingTheLoveYouWant.com for online tools and learning experiences.
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