The Silent Relationship Killer That Sex Won't Fix

Share Article

Relationship Coach Bessie Estonactoc unravels the mysteries around the demise of long term relationships. "Complacency, the silent relationship killer, can be a slippery slope that starts with couples spending less time together. Because couples don't understand the damage complacency in a relationship causes, they are not likely to seek help until it is too late," explains Estonactoc, who teaches couples how to shore up their relationships by teaching communication and connection tools.

Imago Coach Bessie Estonactoc warns couples about complacency—the silent relationship killer. “Complacency can be a slippery slope that starts with couples spending less time together and can end up with one of the partners considering committing adultery, committing adultery, or emotionally checking out of the relationship,” Estonactoc explains.

Complacency often starts when couples don’t share their feelings or bring up issues. Busy lives, work, children, and other distractions can interfere with the quality time needed to keep emotional intimacy alive. Individuals stuff feelings and avoid conflict for various reasons. Some people avoid confrontation. Others don’t know how to discuss issues without stonewalling, fighting, blaming, using sarcasm, or bullying. On the other hand, silence is a death in relationships.

A study on long- term relationships recently featured in a New York Times Article ( dispels the myth that couples break up because of boredom in the bedroom. The number one sensation couples want is to feel alive and connected in their relationships. Coach Bessie teaches couples how to communicate using Imago Dialogue—a technique that teaches couples how to connect in a way that is safe and respectful so that each other’s perspectives are understood.

“A relationship is fragile, and never static. While passion waxes and wanes, the overall health of a relationship is either growing better or deteriorating,” says Estonactoc.
While couples in long- term relationships share a common history, they also need to keep the passion alive by sharing enthusiasm for their endeavors and interests that inspire them today, and not fall into the complacent trap of thinking that their shared history will be the glue that keeps them together.

Bessie Estonactoc M.A., is a relationship and life coach and certified to coach couples using the Imago Dialogue a powerful communication tool. Prior to becoming a Relationship & Life Coach, Bessie has had a successful therapy business as a Marriage & Family Therapist and Certified Imago Relationship Therapist in Oahu, Hawaii. She has been blessed to witness couples committed to the process of healing their relationship through the use of the Imago Dialogue.

As a Relationship & Life Coach, Bessie is very passionate about supporting couples, individuals, business partners and business owners in creating conscious and purposeful relationships. Using the Imago Dialogue with partners helps to set the stage to communicate openly, respectfully and peacefully. Her loving presence, openness, respect and warmth allows each partner to feel supported in the journey of creating the vision of the fulfilling relationship, and is instrumental in developing and implementing a plan of action to achieve the same.

Bessie’s expertise is also supporting individuals in creating their own dreams, visions and goals whether it’s seeking clarity in their personal life and life purpose, connecting with more their wisdom, learning how to manage stress, or learning to become more confident in achieving goals and visions one has been wanting to reach. For information about coaching sessions visit

# # #

Share article on social media or email:

View article via:

Pdf Print

Contact Author

|Diane Dennis
Visit website