Today’s worries, stress, children, parenting, overdrawn checking accounts, job instability and economic woes make a good night’s sleep a priority.
(PRWEB) November 11, 2011
New York, NY: An article in the New York Times (http://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/25) reported statistics from a 2005 survey by the National Sleep Foundation that one in every four American couples sleep in separate bedrooms. “Today’s worries, stress, children, parenting, overdrawn checking accounts, job instability and economic woes make a good night’s sleep a priority. However separate bedroom might just be the nail in the marital coffin," states Dr. Bonnie.
Recently reported in the New York Times (http://tinyurl.com/78ryxot), women are losing sleep as they ponder the next days activities or other situations. Could these woman be the ones sleeping in separate bedrooms? Simply put, these women and their partners need to go back to sleeping in the same bed so they can cuddle. Cuddling raises the Oxytocin level - a hormone that can help people relax and in turn get a good night's rest. If one partner is waking up in the middle of the night, Dr. Bonnie suggests squeezing in a 30 second hug or cuddle - without waking the other partner - can be helpful.
"This cuddling tactic not only assists with sleep deprivation but helps bring sizzle back into the relationship to create balance during difficult times," explains Dr. Weil, author of Make Up Don’t Break Up and accompanying DVD titled Falling in Love and Staying in Love. Both products give specific guidelines to foster emotional and physical intimacy daily.
When it comes to falling asleep and staying asleep, the key is to separate worries from bedtime. Dr. Bonnie suggests:
- Take an hour a day for "mope time" - allow yourself to make lists, tackle projects and worry about things during that time but don't bring these worries into bedtime.
- Make lists during the day, not close to bed time.
- No stimulation before bed (including news, money talks etc.)
A recent study from Penn State men need 6.2 hours sleep and women need 6.8 hours. Women need more sleep, yet they do better without sleep because - likely because they're used to it due to caring for children. However, women actually get tired earlier in the evening than men, but push themselves to stay up longer. Then, when they get to bed they often worry about mundane things which men are less likely to do.
Dr. Bonnie says that if the woman absolutely cannot sleep, in some cases it is better to get up and address whatever is on their mind - write it down, deal with it efficiently, and then go back to bed. While prepping for sleep - as well as in the morning - think of something pleasant and save the worries for the rest of the day.
To really prepare the mind for sleep, during the evening do a grateful exercise by thinking about what you are grateful for. Additionally, the bedtime ritual should include no news, quiet peaceful surroundings, nothing upsetting, violent or stimulating. These things will help people learn to shift gears, shut off, let go and compartmentalize problems from other times.
Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, PhD, author of the 2010 NY Times Reader’s Choice Award winning book Make Up Don’t Break Up with accompanying DVD Falling in Love and Staying In Love counsels couples considering breaking up, people who have committed adultery, and couples who want to strengthen their relationships damaged by resentment or unresolved anger, teaching people to “fight” to increase passion, bring back magic and restore the sizzle. Dr. Bonnie teaches Smart Heart Dialogue along with communication and connection tools, and counsels families and children.
Known as “The Adultery Buster” and the “No. 1 Love Expert,” she is the best-selling author of Adultery: The Forgivable Sin (adapted into a Lifetime movie starring actress Kate Jackson) Coming Nov 2011 as eBook, Make Up Don't Break Up, Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples (Revised edition Feb 2010, including DVD How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love for Singles and Couples), Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery?, How Not to (S)mother Your Man and Keep a Woman Happy, and Financial Infidelity.
Dr. Bonnie has appeared on a Discovery Health documentary titled "Unfaithful" and A&E on addictions. ABC’s Good Morning America, a three-day series on NBC’s The Today Show, The Oprah Winfrey Show five times, a four day series on Fox TV regarding dating. She appears frequently on ABC, Fox, CBS and NBC News, The View, 20/20, and CNN. Visit Dr. Bonnie at http://www.DoctorBonnie.com.
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