Completely Fictional MF Global "Former Broker" Threatens: “You Better Reinstate Brash, Reckless Cowboy Vibe To Brokerage Industry” or Else

Share Article

Seth Grantberg Uses His Outdoor Voice and Toy Knife to Breach Private CFTC Meeting; That Didn’t Happen, Announces Humor Writer Jacqueline Delibes’ Publishing Debut

Online literary magazine announces the publishing debut of humor writer Jacqueline Delibes ( who leverages major news stories ( as a backdrop to advance her story’s current, dynamic cultural satire.

Ms. Delibes is responsible for creating Seth Grantberg, a self-described “former broker” at bankrupt brokerage house MF Global. Mr. Grantberg tore past security at the Commodity Futures Trading Commission’s (CFTC) regional New York office at 140 Broadway this morning to air his concerns about new constraints approved by the Commission last week. Since Mr. Grantberg is a work of fiction, this did not actually take place but is a device meant to pique interest in Ms. Delibes’ skill as a humorist, on further display in her story “yOWSa” (

While the actual federal investigation into the whereabouts of MF Global’s $1.2 billion of missing customer funds is ongoing, the CFTC’s new ‘MF Global rule’ now limits how brokerage firms can use customer money (

According to Ms. Delibes’ imagination, Mr. Grantberg, 42, outfitted in pressed silk and well-shined shoes, menaced the CFTC receptionist with a plastic knife. He burst past her into a conference room to scream at employees about customer money paying for all his toys, like his place in East Hampton, his girlfriend Greta’s implants, personal helicopter, cigar humidor, never-ending ice cream sundae fountain, tree-house fort, tricycle, fondue station, and the 100 foot yacht moored off Shelter Island.

CFTC personnel were attending an internal breakfast meeting when the disturbance occurred. Rather than summon security, staff members recorded video of Mr. Grantberg’s rant to their phones.

As Mr. Grantberg stomped his feet and issued vague threats that the CFTC “better legislate the 1% minority back into glorious, bloated existence,” the conference room phone rang.

The caller, Carolina Grantberg of Parsippany, New Jersey and Mr. Grantberg’s mother, apologized to the Commission for her son’s behavior. While on the phone, she emailed them a link meant to provide context and understanding for her unemployed son (

Mr. Grantberg was escorted from the premises without incident.

About Jacqueline Delibes

Jacqueline is a writer of humorous fiction, satirical essays and short video scripts with a film, TV and marketing background. Her flash fiction story yOWSa appears in the Dec. 2011 issue of Fiction Brigade. Her specialty is not pussyfooting around provocative themes.

About is an online literary magazine specializing in flash fiction. Contributors are published digitally, giving them a creative outlet where they can showcase their work.

# # #

Share article on social media or email:

View article via:

Pdf Print

Contact Author

Jacqueline Delibes

Email >
Visit website