(PRWEB) December 24, 2011
There's typically a narcissist at every holiday table - they're the opposite of Santa Claus! USA Today recently featured tips for how to know if there's a narcissist putting a damper on festivities this season, and what to do about it (http://usat.ly/t3GgyA). Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil weighs in with a few suggestions for dealing with a narcissist during the holidays.
Narcissists typically have trouble being empathetic, says Dr. Bonnie, so it's easy for them to shut down and not see a reason to help or be grateful. It's difficult to understand, warns Dr. Bonnie, "but they're not doing it out of spite. They are truly lacking the empathy needed to respond during the holidays the way most people would respond." It can be difficult to truly figure out if a person is a narcissist because they are highly skilled in protecting themselves to the point that it may be difficult to truly get to know them (as they most often don't even know themselves).
However, if there's a teenager in the house, chances are very good they have at least some narcissistic tendencies, cautions Dr. Bonnie! Because teens frequently want to talk about themselves, she suggests having a refresher course on what to say during holiday gatherings to ensure they're respectful of others and don't dominate too much of the conversation.
To figure out if there's a narcissist that could affect the holiday festivities this year, Dr. Bonnie suggests asking these questions:
Do they turn the activities or conversations back to themselves?
Do they feel entitled?
Are they looking to receive great gifts but don't put as much thought into what to give other people?
Do they shut down and ignore other people?
If the answers to the above questions are "yes," chances are there is a narcissist at the holiday table.
When dealing with a narcissist at the holidays Dr. Bonnie advises it's best to avoid confrontation. In the long term, if the narcissist is around on a regular basis there does need to be an intervention or a confrontation but the holidays is not the time or the place. Instead, people just want to have a good time - so don't play into any crazy behavior. Ignoring uncomfortable behaviors, and attempting to accept the person's shortcomings, may be the only viable option for peacefully dealing with holiday circumstances.
"Don't engage in a power struggle," advises Dr. Bonnie. And do lower expectations. Don't attempt to discuss the issue with them, just don't give them too much attention and don't expect too much. "And remember: forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. Let them be because now is not the time to attempt to change them, and don't let them ruin the holiday."
Text ADULTERY to 82257 to find out from Dr Bonnie if adultery may be looming in your relationship!
Interested in a few dating tips from internationally acclaimed relationship therapist Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil?
Text DATINGTIPS to 82257 to receive Tips and Updates from Dr. Bonnie!
Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil's best-selling book, Adultery the Forgivable Sin is being re-released under a new distributor and making its appearance available in eBook format and print on Amazon.com (http://www.amazon.com/Adultery-Forgivable-Bonnie-Eaker-Weil/dp/1587768151/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1321019076&sr=8-1). Adultery the Forgivable Sin was also made into a Lifetime Original Movie starring Kate Jackson.
Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, PhD, is also author of the 2010 New York Times Reader’s Choice Award-winning book Make Up Don’t Break Up with accompanying DVD Falling in Love and Staying In Love. Dr. Bonnie counsels couples, singles, and step families. She works with those considering breaking up, people who have committed adultery, and couples who want to strengthen their relationships damaged by resentment or unresolved anger, teaching people to “fight” to increase passion, bring back magic and restore the sizzle. Dr. Bonnie teaches Smart Heart Dialogue along with communication and connection tools, and counsel’s families and children.
Named the Best Local Therapist by the US Commerce Association and known as “The Adultery Buster” and the “No. 1 Love Expert,” she is the best-selling author of other books like Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples (Revised edition Feb 2010, including DVD How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love for Singles and Couples), Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery?, How Not to (S)mother Your Man and Keep a Woman Happy, and Financial Infidelity.
Dr. Bonnie is presently featured and available now on the Discovery Health/Oprah Winfrey Network documentary titled "Unfaithful" and A&E on addictions. ABC’s Good Morning America, a three-day series on NBC’s The Today Show, The Oprah Winfrey Show five times, a four day series on Fox TV regarding dating. She appears frequently on ABC, Fox, CBS and NBC News, The View, 20/20, and CNN. Visit Dr. Bonnie at http://www.DoctorBonnie.com.
# # #