Certain Infidelities Are Not Forgivable Says Dr. Bonnie

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Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, PhD author of Adultery the Forgivable Sin advises couples like Maria Shriver and Arnold Schwarzenegger, that while infidelities can be forgiven, circumstances surrounding an indiscretion can cause such grief that the marital rupture might not be fixable.

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, PhD explains divorce dynamics as it relates to couples suffering loss. “Maria Shriver is a perfect example. Recently announcing her split from Arnold Schwarzenneger, her husband of 25 years, Shriver recently posted a video about feeling lost and in transition. She has recently lost both parents. Her role as first lady of California has ended. While these issues are not insurmountable, when we layer on the reality that she gave up her broadcasting career for her husband's political career, convinced the public that her husband was not a philanderer, and finds out that he has been harboring the secret of fathering a child ten years ago with a house staff member, the betrayal has to be heartbreaking."

In her NY Times Reader’s Choice award winning book, Make Up Don’t Break Up with accompanying DVD Falling in Love and Staying in Love, Dr. Bonnie explains how important the Smart Heart Dialogue is in forging emotional intimacy when a partner is suffering a loss, in key transitions, and has unmet needs. "Keeping secrets, refusing to be accountable, and obviously not communicating will ruin the best of unions." Dr. Bonnie adds that there will need to be so much healing surrounding these circumstances due to the longevity of the secret and the numerous family members involved. "The longer couples wait to address their issues, the less likely there will be a positive outcome."

"Smart Heart Dialogue offers each individual a platform to express their feelings safely while the other partner listens with empathy, compassion, instead of blaming and shaming,” says Dr. Bonnie, who adds that when children are involved, the reality that generations will be affected further complicates healing.

“Most marriages can be saved if issues are dealt with in a responsible and timely manner. My book Adultery the Forgivable Sin gives the blueprint for how to have a successful outcome after a betrayal. Unfortunately, all the rules for dealing with adultery were broken in the Shriver/Schwarzenneger marriage" Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil describes the common personality type of a person most likely to cheat as a thrill seeking person with a high stress career who seeks a biochemical craving for connection.

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil (Dr. Bonnie) is a relationship expert who was named by Psychology Today as one of America’s best therapists, and by New York Magazine as one of New York City’s best therapists. Known as “The Adultery Buster” and the “No. 1 Love Expert,” she is the best-selling author of Adultery: The Forgivable Sin (adapted into a Lifetime movie starring actress Kate Jackson), Make Up Don’t Break Up, Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples (Revised edition Feb 2010, including DVD How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love for Singles and Couples) and winner of the NY Times Reader’s Choice award for best dating book 2010, Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery?, Staying Not Straying, How Not to (S)mother Your Man and Keep a Woman Happy, and Financial Infidelity (Making Money Sexy).
Dr. Bonnie has appeared on ABC’s Good Morning America, a three-day series on NBC’s The Today Show, The Oprah Winfrey Show five times, a four day series on Fox TV regarding dating, Discovery Health documentary "Infidelity" and A&E on addictions. She appears frequently on ABC, Fox, CBS and NBC News, The View, 20/20, and CNN. Visit Dr. Bonnie at http://www.DoctorBonnie.com.

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, PhD, author of the NY Times Reader’s Choice Award winning book Make Up Don’t Break Up with accompanying DVD Falling in Love and Staying In Love counsels couples considering breaking up, people who have committed adultery, and couples who want to strengthen their relationships damaged by resentment or unresolved anger, teaching people to “fight” to increase passion, bring back magic and restore the sizzle. Dr. Bonnie teaches Smart Heart Dialogue along with communication and connection tools, and counsels families and children. For media contact Inspired Media Communications Diane Dennis at 503-329-4314.


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