When Aging Parents Resist Care – Geriatric Care Managers Come to the Rescue!

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Geriatric Care Managers offer solutions for long-distance caregiving for adult children, especially when their aging parents are resisting care. With the proper help and care plan; elders can be independent for a longer period of time.

Accepting help is hard for the best of us. Asking for help can signal weakness or dependence, which is feared because of loss of control over one’s life.    Many reasons, besides just being stubborn or headstrong, prevent elders from accepting the help they need to allow them to be independent for a longer period of time.

The National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers has a few helpful suggestions for adult children trying to convince mom or dad that it is time to bring in some support or move to a more supportive environment.

1)    Use “I” messages when expressing your concerns. Say that you are concerned for their safety not that they “should” hire someone or move.
2)    Start care in spoonfuls instead of buckets – 2 hours a few times a week and let it grow to more time as the relationship develops with the care provider.
3)    Allow your parent to tour a few retirement communities for the “future” – don’t pressure them, just expose them to some options.

Every family is different and at times siblings disagree with what is best for mom or dad, or the children are unaware of entitlements or community services that would support their parent in their own home. That is when a consultation or services from a Professional Geriatric Care Manager can save the family hours of time and dollars as well.

Over and over again when the professional makes a suggestion, the elder takes it with grace, but when the adult child makes the same suggestion there is resistance. Who wants their child telling them what to do?

To find a Geriatric Care Manager in your area you may visit http://www.caremanager.org. The button “Find a Care Manager” provides an easy-to-use web directory, which allows you to find a care manger near you based on your zip code or city.

The National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers (NAPGCM) was formed in 1985 to advance dignified care for older adults and their families. Geriatric Care Managers are professionals who have extensive training and experience working with older people, people with disabilities and families who need assistance with caregiving issues. They assist older adults who wish to remain in their homes, or can help families in the search for a suitable nursing home placement or extended care if the need occurs. The practice of geriatric care management and the role of care providers have captured a national spotlight, as generations of Baby Boomers age in the United States and abroad. For more information please visit http://www.caremanager.org.

Terry Alexander, NAPGCM Director of Marketing and Communications at 520-881-8008 and talexander(at)napgcm(dot)org


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