To Confront or Not Confront The Mistress

Share Article

Relationship Therapist and Adultery Expert Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, PhD, author of Adultery The Forgivable Sin offers guidelines on when and how to confront a partner's lover. Using Maria Shriver as an example of how a civilized confrontation can aid in healing for all parties, Dr. Bonnie reveals the reasons for confronting, and the potential dangers.

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, PhD, relationship therapist offers guidelines for contacting the ‘other woman’ after Arnold Schwarzenegger’s alleged mistress Mildred Baena was recently interviewed with Hello Magazine where she describes a meeting with Maria Shriver admitting that Arnold is the father of her son Joseph. “This meeting, if done at the wrong time or with the wrong intentions could have been disastrous for all parties,” explains Dr. Bonnie who offers advice on confronting the ‘other woman’ in her groundbreaking book Adultery The Forgivable Sin—which was made into a Lifetime movie “Silence of Adultery” starring Kate Jackson.

“It may sound like an invitation to mayhem, but I believe that confrontation is sometimes justified. A civilized contact can give the deceived partner back a measure of self-esteem, power, and healing. In the Shriver case, Baena’s description of their discussion about the betrayal showed that the two women were able to share the grief that the infidelity has caused all parties involved,” explains Dr. Weil.

Sexual betrayal is high on the list of behavior that is emotionally charged, difficult to forgive and forget, and often leads to divorce. Because of the intense feelings involved, confrontation must be measured with civility and caution.

“The betrayed should not consider a meeting for the purpose of confrontation if he/she is embroiled in verbal abuse, feeling out of control anger, if the betrayer is adamantly opposed to a meeting, or if the couple are making progress with counseling,” cautions Dr. Bonnie.

Dr. Bonnie has appeared on ABC’s Good Morning America, a three-day series on NBC’s The Today Show, The Oprah Winfrey Show five times, a four day series on Fox TV regarding dating, Discovery Health documentary "Adultery" and A&E on addictions. She appears frequently on ABC, Fox, CBS and NBC News, The View, 20/20, and CNN. Visit Dr. Bonnie at

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil (Dr. Bonnie) is a relationship expert who was named by Psychology Today as one of America’s best therapists, and by New York Magazine as one of New York City’s best therapists. Known as “The Adultery Buster” and the “No. 1 Love Expert,” she is the best-selling author of Adultery: The Forgivable Sin (adapted into a Lifetime movie starring actress Kate Jackson), Make Up Don’t Break Up, Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples (Revised edition Feb 2010, including DVD How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love for Singles and Couples) and winner of the NY Times Reader’s Choice award for best dating book 2010, Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery?, Staying Not Straying, How Not to (S)mother Your Man and Keep a Woman Happy, and Financial Infidelity (Making Money Sexy).

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, PhD, author of the NY Times Reader’s Choice Award winning book Make Up Don’t Break Up with accompanying DVD Falling in Love and Staying In Love counsels couples considering breaking up, people who have committed adultery, and couples who want to strengthen their relationships damaged by resentment or unresolved anger, teaching people to “fight” to increase passion, bring back magic and restore the sizzle. Dr. Bonnie teaches Smart Heart Dialogue along with communication and connection tools, and counsels families and children.

For interview contact Diane Dennis, Inspired Media Communication at 503-678-1356


Share article on social media or email:

View article via:

Pdf Print

Contact Author

|Diane Dennis
Visit website