Weak Economy Leads Couples to Commit Financial Infidelity and Lie About Spending

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Bonnie Eaker Weil, PhD, relationship therapist and author of Financial Infidelity warns couples that lying about spending leads to other relationship betrayals. "In these difficult economic times, financial resources become more scarce, and the impulse to spend and lie about it increases. When a cycle of financial betrayals becomes entrenched, it is often just a matter of time before other areas of the relationship are damaged and trust is eroded," Dr. Bonnie warns.

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, PhD, author of Financial Infidelity warns couples that lying about spending is a slippery slope towards more serious marital transgressions.

“In these financially difficult times, financial resources become more scarce, and the impulse to spend and lie about it increases. When a cycle of financial betrayals becomes entrenched, it is often just a matter of time before other areas of the relationship are damaged as trust is eroded, ” Dr. Weil says, adding that trust is the cornerstone of a good relationship. Lying about money is not a rare occurrence for couples. According to a recent survey by CESI debt solutions, 80 percent of spouses spend money that their partner doesn’t know about.

“I hear conversations between women at the grocery store, or in line for a movie. Women joke about how they tore a price tag off a new dress and buried it in the back of their closet, hoping their husbands won’t notice their new purchases, lest they be perceived as splurges. Conversely women complain about their husbands expensive golf, gardening, or car habits.”

‘Financial Infidelity: Seven Steps to Conquering the #1 Relationship Wrecker,’ offers tips, risks, and solutions for couples who are not on the same financial page. “Our spending habits are developed in childhood. Very often couples have completely different spending styles. To avoid conflict, they will often hide their purchases instead of following the guidance outlined in my book,” Dr. Weil explains. Financial Infidelity offers couples the chance to understand their spending triggers through completing a family “Moneygram”—a chart detailing familial histories relating to finances and money behaviors. “Couples who complete their money charts are able to predict, prevent, overcome, and solve money behaviors. It is easier to solve issues relating to money, than wait until the relationship is in danger of collapse,” Dr. Bonnie explains, adding that therapy is key in many cases where couples who cannot get out of power struggles over money, or other relationship stressors.

Dr. Bonnie has appeared on ABC’s Good Morning America, a three-day series on NBC’s The Today Show, The Oprah Winfrey Show five times, a four day series on Fox TV regarding dating, Discovery Health documentary "Adultery" and A&E on addictions. She appears frequently on ABC, Fox, CBS and NBC News, The View, 20/20, and CNN. Visit Dr. Bonnie at http://www.DoctorBonnie.com.

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil (Dr. Bonnie) is a relationship expert who was named by Psychology Today as one of America’s best therapists, and by New York Magazine as one of New York City’s best therapists. Known as “The Adultery Buster” and the “No. 1 Love Expert,” she is the best-selling author of Adultery: The Forgivable Sin (adapted into a Lifetime movie starring actress Kate Jackson), Make Up Don’t Break Up, Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples (Revised edition Feb 2010, including DVD How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love for Singles and Couples) and winner of the NY Times Reader’s Choice award for best dating book 2010, Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery?, Staying Not Straying, How Not to (S)mother Your Man and Keep a Woman Happy, and Financial Infidelity (Making Money Sexy).

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, PhD, author of the NY Times Reader’s Choice Award winning book Make Up Don’t Break Up with accompanying DVD Falling in Love and Staying In Love counsels couples considering breaking up, people who have committed adultery, and couples who want to strengthen their relationships damaged by resentment or unresolved anger, teaching people to “fight” to increase passion, bring back magic and restore the sizzle. Dr. Bonnie teaches Smart Heart Dialogue along with communication and connection tools, and counsels families and children.

For interview contact Diane Dennis, Inspired Media Communication at 503-678-1356 or dianeden(at)centurytel(dot)net

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