Grieving a Soulmate: the Greater the Love, the Greater the Loss

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"That's the trade-off. The alternative is not to have loved," says author Robert Orfali. Available in paperback and e-book, Grieving a Soulmate is a gentle and informed guide to the complicated grief triggered by “till death do us part.” It provides an in-depth look at the specifics of soulmate grief.

A heartening testament to the ability of love to transcend loss.
— Kirkus Discoveries

The death of a soulmate is particularly harsh because the lovers are so intertwined and bonded. The devastating grief pains are the flip side of the love they once had. The more they loved, the greater the grieving pain. Author Robert Orfali, believes that “continuing love” is the most effective remedy for a grief-stricken heart. Says Orfali, “My lover died, but the love relationship is still intact. With soulmates, there’s enough love left behind to rebuild a shattered life.” However, for the love relationship to continue, the overwhelming pain of young grief must first be brought under control. To achieve that, Orfali proposes a novel approach based on “divide and conquer.” It’s about chunking the overwhelming young grief into manageable “buckets” where it can be eradicated. Says Orfali, “Jeri seemed to magically reappear after I got rid of the pain. This time she wasn’t the Jeri of grief-burst nightmares. Instead, it was my loving Jeri—my soulmate. I rediscovered my Jeri. The love was back, and I could start rebuilding my shattered life.”

In his recently-released book Grieving a Soulmate: The Love Story Behind “Till Death Do Us Part,” Robert Orfali takes on the difficult topic of soulmate grief with courage, out-of-the box thinking, and deep love. Ranging from the practical to the emotional––and frequently blending the two––Orfali’s style of writing makes a difficult topic easier to manage. He writes in an easy style that is analytical yet speaks from the heart. The content is thought-provoking, unique, and original. It can be a gentle and informed guide to the deep grieving that accompanies the death of a soulmate. This book should help a surviving soulmate (or spouse) quickly overcome the red-hot pain of grief. It’s about how to reconstruct a life, find meaning, and deal with the big existential issues from a secular perspective. It’s a survival guide for the last stages in a soulmate relationship.

“Orfali writes in a straightforward, often bullet-pointed style, but infuses it with intellectual seriousness and emotional depth. The result is both a useful guide to end-of-life issues and a profound reflection on their meaning. A heartening testament to the ability of love to transcend loss."
                     — Kirkus Discoveries

Robert Orfali and his soulmate of thirty years, Jeri Edwards Orfali, were both in the computer software field in the early days of Silicon Valley. They co-authored three best-selling software books and together went on several world tours to promote their technology. Jeri was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, in 1999, shortly after they moved to Hawaii. Jeri and Robert spent the next ten years fighting Jeri's cancer and learning how to live with it. Jeri even learned how to surf during her chemo years. She went from “Silicon Valley Executive Woman of the Year” to “Waikiki Surfer Chick.” Jeri received one of the most moving surfer funerals ever. Her ashes are in the ocean at Waikiki.

Paperback: 280 pages
Publisher: Mill City Press, Inc.
Publication date: January 17, 2011
ISBN-10: 1936400669
ISBN-13: 978-1936400669

Paperback list price: $14.95
E-book list price: $ 6.99

Book and e-book available from Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Apple Store, and others.
E-book formats include Kindle, iPad, iPhone, Nook, Android, and others.
Book website:

Media contact:
Mill City Press
Jessie King


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