(PRWEB) January 19, 2012
Children who are exposed to what's known as "toxic stress" may have the course of their lives altered even before birth according to an article in the New York Times. (http://mobile.nytimes.com/2012/01/08/opinion/sunday/kristof-a-poverty-solution-that-starts-with-a-hug.xml) Children who are raised by parents with addiction can actually have their brain chemicals affected, Dr. Bonnie believes. "People who have experienced this type of toxic environment early in life find that the size and shape of the hippocampus in their brains is different." When children experience things like alcoholism, workaholism, and adultery through their parents, they often feel these stresses catch up with them later in life.
"Often with addiction and other 'toxic stress' situations" Dr. Bonnie says, "children grow used to not receiving affection or not being heard by their parents." This can follow the person into adulthood - they will feel the need for comfort but will have a hard time accepting it because they're not used to it. Because of this, these experiences can have an affect on who a victim of toxic stress picks as a partner, as well as their level of intimacy and how happy they'll be. The affection of a relationship often diffuses toxicity, but it can be difficult for someone coming from a toxic environment to accept this affection in the first place.
Fortunately, Dr. Bonnie believes, people who suffered these stresses during childhood can re-train their brains to accept healthy emotions and responses; these stress hormones can be reversed later on in life.
For adults who are still dealing with trauma experienced in childhood in the form of parental alcoholism, workaholism or other addiction Dr. Bonnie suggests doing a few things.
- Work with a therapist and medical doctor. Dr. Bonnie believes that people who suffered from toxic stress can rewire their brain circuits by working with a therapist and medical doctor. supplements along with psychotherapy will de-stress and balance the stress that happened earlier in life.
- Look at who's talking. Dr. Bonnie advises victims of toxic stress who are still dealing with an addicted parent to remember they're dealing with a person suffering from addiction who often doesn't know what they're talking about. To this end, victims shouldn't take on the stress produced by the parent who is addicted - remember, they are suffering from a disease which is their responsibility to deal with. Instead, Dr. Bonnie suggests children of addicted parents look for healthy father or mother substitutes.
- Keep up a protective bubble. This doesn't mean the adult child stuffs their feelings and experiences down. Rather the child should learn how to deal with their past, and then not allow further hurt or toxic behavior to creep back in if their parent still practices destructive behavior.
- Do activities to stay sane. Dr. Bonnie encourages children who still deal with addictive behavior from their parents on a regular basis to find something into which they can channel their frustration. "Often, physical activities are a good outlet though crafts and other creative pursuits are helpful as well," she suggests.
- Remember: it's a disease, it's not the child's fault. Rewiring the brain to heal after a painful childhood is a long process, typically involving therapy and a lot of work. Dr. Bonnie stresses the importance of seeking out a skilled therapist as well as supplements, diet and exercise. But even once the child is on the road to recovery it's important for them to remember the pain they're experiencing isn't their fault.
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Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil's best-selling book, Adultery the Forgivable Sin is being re-released under a new distributor and making its appearance available in eBook format and print on Amazon.com (http://www.amazon.com/Adultery-Forgivable-Bonnie-Eaker-Weil/dp/1587768151/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1321019076&sr=8-1). Adultery the Forgivable Sin was also made into a Lifetime Original Movie starring Kate Jackson.
Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, PhD, is also author of the 2010 New York Times Reader’s Choice Award-winning book Make Up Don’t Break Up with accompanying DVD Falling in Love and Staying In Love. Dr. Bonnie counsels couples, singles, and step families. She works with those considering breaking up, people who have committed adultery, and couples who want to strengthen their relationships damaged by resentment or unresolved anger, teaching people to “fight” to increase passion, bring back magic and restore the sizzle. Dr. Bonnie teaches Smart Heart Dialogue along with communication and connection tools, and counsel’s families and children.
Named the Best Local Therapist by the US Commerce Association and known as “The Adultery Buster” and the “No. 1 Love Expert,” she is the best-selling author of other books like Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples (Revised edition Feb 2010, including DVD How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love for Singles and Couples), Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery?, How Not to (S)mother Your Man and Keep a Woman Happy, and Financial Infidelity.
Dr. Bonnie is presently featured and available now on the Discovery Health/Oprah Winfrey Network documentary titled "Unfaithful" and A&E on addictions. ABC’s Good Morning America, a three-day series on NBC’s The Today Show, The Oprah Winfrey Show five times, a four day series on Fox TV regarding dating. She appears frequently on ABC, Fox, CBS and NBC News, The View, 20/20, and CNN. Visit Dr. Bonnie at http://www.DoctorBonnie.com.