February 13th is Mistress Day: Dr. Bonnie Explains Why Men Have the Madonna-Mistress Complex

Share Article

Valentine's Day should be special and romantic for couples, but it may actually be someone outside the marriage who is getting the attention and special gifts. AOL reports that February 13th is becoming just as busy for florists, restaurants and others because it's the day men take out their mistresses (http://aol.it/wPle6h). In this situation, points out Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, everyone loses.

Women may wonder if their husbands are forgetting Valentine's Day because he's celebrating mistress day instead.

Valentine's Day should be special and romantic for couples, but it may actually be someone outside the marriage who is getting the attention and special gifts. AOL reports that February 13th is becoming just as busy for florists, restaurants and others because it's the day men take out their mistresses (http://aol.it/wPle6h). In this situation, points out Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, everyone loses.

"Aside from the issue of the affair in the first place, the mistress is going to feel second fiddle for being taken out on the 13th, which will often lead the man to purchase more expensive, romantic gifts for her - they'll get diamonds or jewelry for their mistress and gift their wife with something like a blender or a practical gift. The wife will be taken out on the 14th but men often buy their wives something less romantic."

A survey done by website Ashley Madison shows that men will spend more on gifts for their mistresses than on gifts for their wives (http://bit.ly/zd6UJQ). Dr. Bonnie says they do this to impress and pacify the mistress because they feel guilty about not being able to spend time with her on Valentine's Day and forcing her into "half a loaf" status. Men will even take their mistress and wife to the same restaurant, but on different nights - essentially making the staff of the restaurant accomplices in the affair as well.

Dr. Bonnie identifies this problem as the Madonna-Wh-re complex: the split that happens when men begin to see their wives as "the Madonna" - the person who takes care of them and their children - and then seek out another women to fulfill a need for excitement, novelty and mystery. "Men often turn their wife into a "Madonna," the caregiver, and put her on a pedestal. They then turn to the mistress to fulfill their thrill-seeking, sexual desires" Dr. Bonnie elaborates. Instead of creating a lose/lose situation for everyone Dr. Bonnie instructs her patients to have an affair with their own partner instead of seeking out someone else to fill the role of sexy romantic. She offers this tip for wives: "get out of the house, put on a sexy outfit, and go out on the town with your husband! This way, husbands will be inclined to see their wives as the 'mistress' instead of as just the Madonna."

Additionally, "it's important to constantly re-create, revitalize, re-energize those brain chemicals that couples had when they first fell in love," says Dr. Bonnie. Engaging in behavior as simple as a 20-second hug - which releases dopamine, making you feel alive, happy or in love - or a 30-second kiss - which releases a dose of oxytocin, the cuddle hormone - will help people feel bonded and happy. These are the brain chemicals at work when people first fall in love, so making them last through life is important. Dr. Bonnie suggests that wives get out of the rut of their daily routine - turn off the TV! - put on something sexy that makes them feel good, and enjoy a romantic night out with their spouse.

Engaging in this type of behavior is important for preventing the Madonna-Mistress split that sometimes happens - where men begin to see their wives as the mother figure, and look elsewhere for their romantic pursuits.

Text ADULTERY to 82257 to find out from Dr Bonnie if adultery may be looming in your relationship!

Interested in a few dating tips from internationally acclaimed relationship therapist Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil? Text DATINGTIPS to 82257 to receive Tips and Updates from Dr. Bonnie!

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil's best-selling book, Adultery the Forgivable Sin is being re-released under a new distributor and making its appearance available in eBook format and print on Amazon.com (http://www.amazon.com/Adultery-Forgivable-Bonnie-Eaker-Weil/dp/1587768151/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1321019076&sr=8-1). Adultery the Forgivable Sin was also made into a Lifetime Original Movie starring Kate Jackson.

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, PhD, is also author of the 2010 New York Times Reader’s Choice Award-winning book Make Up Don’t Break Up with accompanying DVD Falling in Love and Staying In Love. Dr. Bonnie counsels couples, singles, and step families. She works with those considering breaking up, people who have committed adultery, and couples who want to strengthen their relationships damaged by resentment or unresolved anger, teaching people to “fight” to increase passion, bring back magic and restore the sizzle. Dr. Bonnie teaches Smart Heart Dialogue along with communication and connection tools, and counsel’s families and children.

Named the Best Local Therapist by the US Commerce Association and known as “The Adultery Buster” and the “No. 1 Love Expert,” she is the best-selling author of other books like Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples (Revised edition Feb 2010, including DVD How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love for Singles and Couples), Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery?, How Not to (S)mother Your Man and Keep a Woman Happy, and Financial Infidelity.

Dr. Bonnie is presently featured and available now on the Discovery Health/Oprah Winfrey Network documentary titled "Unfaithful" and A&E on addictions. ABC’s Good Morning America, a three-day series on NBC’s The Today Show, The Oprah Winfrey Show five times, a four day series on Fox TV regarding dating. She appears frequently on ABC, Fox, CBS and NBC News, The View, 20/20, and CNN. Visit Dr. Bonnie at http://www.DoctorBonnie.com.

# # #

Share article on social media or email:

View article via:

Pdf Print

Contact Author

Dr.Bonnie Weil
Visit website