When you’re at the lowest point and hit rock bottom…CHANGE SOMETHING. Discharge one bad habit and bring one good habit on board.
Highland Park, New Jersey (PRWEB) January 31, 2012
RELEASED TODAY on FamilyThinking.com....as a Valentine's Day Feature Article:
Do the ups and downs of your marriage feel like an amusement park ride?
Does this relationship cycle ring a bell: Trouble Begins > Meltdown > Silent Treatment > Cooling Off > Conversation Restarts > Back to So-Called Normal?
When Dr. Alan Singer counsels couples who fit this profile, he labels the pattern: a Ferris_Wheel Relationship (FWR). Singer, a family therapist, is the author of Creating Your Perfect Family Size, which helps couples decide how many children to have.
Singer’s main concern with FWR is that the seemingly benign cyclical pattern may mean a couple is heading for disaster. “After the silent treatment,” Singer emphasizes, “nothing substantial ever changes and most couples simply resume their lives in order to achieve a modicum of normalcy. But, this pattern of uninterrupted ups and downs can be catastrophic to a marriage.”
“What commonly occurs,” explains Singer, “is that one spouse, feeling trapped by the cycle, often secretly plans an exit strategy from the Ferris Wheel. Two benchmarks in family life that motivate spouses to plan their exit are: the transition to empty nesting and stay-at-home Moms who return to the workplace.” “Don’t be complacent, sitting there enjoying the ride, and thinking…..what comes down will always go up,” insists Singer.
In his parenting column released today on FamilyThinking.com, he provides four steps that couples can use to remedy this relationship:
1. Identify the unending relationship cycle and recognize its potential harm.
2. Formulate a repair strategy instead of an escape plan.
3. Seek out a marriage-friendly therapist and involve him/her early on. Two thirds of divorcing couples do not receive even one hour of marital counseling.
4. When you’re at the lowest point and hit rock bottom…CHANGE SOMETHING. Discharge one bad habit and bring one good habit on board.
Creating Your Perfect Family Size is the only book ever written that equips couples in deciding how many children to have and the optimal spacing between children. Singer emphasizes, “It’s a parenting book about marriage that I wrote on behalf of children…..because there is nothing a child needs more, not even a sibling, than for her parents to have a healthy stable marriage.”
About Dr. Alan Singer:
Singer is a Family and Marriage Therapist based in Highland Park, New Jersey since 1980 and boasting an 80% success rate in keeping couples together. He is an Adjunct Professor in the Rutgers Graduate School of Social Work and the Touro College School of Psychology. He is a family & parenting columnist for the Home News Tribune and blogs at http://www.FamilyThinking.com He is an expert in family size decision-making and its impact on marriage.
For related stories to this topic, Singer can discuss:
Your Marriage and Your Children: How to Assure that Both Will Thrive
Newlyweds: When is the Best Time to Start a Family?
What is the Ideal Number and Ideal Spacing of Children?
To schedule an interview with Dr. Singer, please call (732) 572-2707 or email DrAlanSinger@aol(dot)com