Season's Cheatings: After Petraeus' Indiscretions, How to Stay Faithful Through the Holidays

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Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil believes that cheating is curable - a point that is especially relevant in the wake of the David Petraeus sex scandal ( and ahead of the holiday season which usually results in more instances of cheating.

Cheating doesn't have to be an endless pattern, says relationship therapist Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, and it doesn't have to destroy a relationship, even after a public scandal like the one caused by David Petraeus' alleged indiscretion. Statistically, only 35% of unions survive an affair, but Dr. Bonnie teaches couples methods will increase survivorship odds to a happy 98%… with a healthier, more intimate relationship. Someone in Petraeus' position is likely to take more risks the more powerful they are which is self-reinforcing and leads to further feelings of power. However it brings on stress and in this case may even complicate things with issues of national security.

There are several reasons why people commit adultery, all of which can be heightened during the holiday season - for one, people feel more powerful during the holidays but also struggle with feeling empty. Another main reason people commit adultery is in response to the Biochemical Craving for Connection, in order to "stress-bust," or counteract feelings of stress, separation or loss, and to self-medicate with thrill-seeking. Says Dr. Bonnie: "The holidays can bring ALL these feelings up at once. There's so much to stress out about, we are easily reminded of loved ones that we have lost, and can be stressed by family we find it hard to be around." The solution, says Dr. Bonnie, is not to let that push you into the arms of someone else, but to work things out with your significant other.

Dr. Bonnie suggests that instead of seeking out stress reduction and excitement outside a relationship, couples need to re-create the connection they had when you first met. Not only will this mitigate the boredom they might be feeling, it will help reduce the stress in their lives as well, especially during the holiday season. The feelings a couple had when they first met is the newness and excitement they're looking for. She encourages people to bring new elements into a relationship to help fall back in love with their partners. And, she says, during this time of over-eating and holiday parties remember: "Sex has no calories!"

Find tips like these to help you through any season, in her book, Adultery the Forgivable Sin or Make Up Don't Break Up and accompanying DVD, Falling in Love and Staying in Love. See Dr. Bonnie explaining more about the biochemical craving for connection here: And check out her “5 Star Video Contributor" via YouTube/Google”

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