Removing Rutgers-Camden from the Rutgers System is Like a Divorce, Says Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil

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The recent proposed plan to divorce Rutgers-Camden from the Rutgers University system is dangerous for the state of New Jersey, for students, and the future of eduction. "An executive order from Governor Christie forcing Rutgers-Camden to marry Rowan University not only sets a dangerous precedence that government can step in and rearrange the university system without having a vote, it also will force the school to become just 'The State University of New Jersey, Exit 9 and Above," says Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil.

Advice to Rutgers: Make Up Don't Break Up

The recent proposed plan (http://bit.ly/zeKKCg) to divorce Rutgers-Camden from the Rutgers University system is dangerous for the state of New Jersey, for students, and the future of eduction, believes Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil. "An executive order from Governor Christie forcing Rutgers-Camden to marry Rowan University not only sets a dangerous precedence that government can step in and rearrange the university system without having a vote, it also will force the school to become just 'The State University of New Jersey, Exit 9 and Above," says Dr. Bonnie.

Like any other relationship, the Rutgers relationship among its campuses needs work from time to time. Dr. Bonnie believes the Board of Governors needs to strongly affirm that they are THE State University and strengthen its presence throughout the entire state. It’s time for the Rutgers campuses to renew their vows. Make up; don’t break up.

Breaking off a piece of Rutgers and sending it to Rowan is a divorce, states Dr. Bonnie. In a divorce, the assets of Rutgers would need to be split up, which raises a number of questions: Who would get the electronic library resources? Would Rutgers-Camden receive its share of the Rutgers endowment if it were forced to break up? Who would gain the internationally known scholars now conducting research at Rutgers-Camden? Is a divorce really the best answer for the citizens of New Jersey?

Additionally, the cultures of Rutgers-Camden and Rowan are very different; forcing them to join together would be like an arranged marriage, notes Dr. Bonnie. Both Rutgers-Camden and Rowan need to be recognized for their strengths, but they are so dramatically different from one another, that a marriage doesn’t have even the slightest chance of success.

Just like any other relationship, the partnership between Rutgers-Camden and the Rutgers University system will take work to be successful. Dr. Bonnie believes relationships won’t work if the Three D’s are present: being demanding, desperate, or domineering. Forcing the plan into existence by executive order is demanding. Prematurely enacting the plan even though the majority of voters of New Jersey are opposed to it (according to a recent Rutgers-Eagleton poll) is desperate, and the fact that the plan describes a takeover, not a merger, is domineering.

No doubt, money is also a factor, as it can be for many when relationships get rocky. Says Dr. Bonnie: "In my practice, I find that couples are still extremely uncomfortable discussing how much they earn, how much they spend, and how much they owe. These practical financial matters affect the lives of married couples. Secrecy and deceit lead to financial infidelity. Proposing a marriage without being truthful about one’s finances is sure to end in tragedy." In relation to the Rutgers issue, it's been reported that Rowan’s debt is a higher than recommended debt load of $ 517 million, almost five times that of Rutgers-Camden. Rowan has also taken on the enormous burden of a start-up medical school that needs additional funding to get it though the first few critical years of life. This lopsided financial situation between Rutgers-Camden and Rowan is an overwhelming obstacle to any sort of merger or marriage.

Another issue to consider in divorce is the children, in this case the students that will be graduating. "I worry for graduates that will come out of this merger," says Dr. Bonnie. "They’ll be asked by their prospective employers, 'Where did you get your degree? I’ve never heard of this place. I’m not at all familiar with this school.'"

Just about any marriage can be saved if the couple is willing to put in the work. For the good of the entire state, Rutgers should make up, not break up, with Rutgers-Camden.

To sign the petition to keep Rutgers-Camden a part of the Rutgers system, sign the petition here: http://r2rmerge.com/

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Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil's best-selling book, Adultery the Forgivable Sin is being re-released under a new distributor and making its appearance available in eBook format and print on Amazon.com (http://www.amazon.com/Adultery-Forgivable-Bonnie-Eaker-Weil/dp/1587768151/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1321019076&sr=8-1). Adultery the Forgivable Sin was also made into a Lifetime Original Movie starring Kate Jackson.

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, PhD, is also author of the 2010 New York Times Reader’s Choice Award-winning book Make Up Don’t Break Up with accompanying DVD. Dr. Bonnie counsels couples, singles, and step families. She works with those considering breaking up, people who have committed adultery, and couples who want to strengthen their relationships damaged by resentment or unresolved anger, teaching people to “fight” to increase passion, bring back magic and restore the sizzle. Dr. Bonnie teaches Smart Heart Dialogue along with communication and connection tools, and counsel’s families and children.

Named the Best Local Therapist in 2011 by the US Commerce Association and known as “The Adultery Buster” and the “No. 1 Love Expert,” she is the best-selling author of other books like Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery?, How Not to (S)mother Your Man and Keep a Woman Happy, and Financial Infidelity: Making Money Sexy.

Dr. Bonnie was named by Psychology Today and NY Magazine as one of America's Best Therapists and is presently featured and available now on the Discovery Health/Oprah Winfrey Network documentary titled "Unfaithful" and A&E on addictions. Find her on Good Morning America's three-day series on NBC’s The Today Show, The Oprah Winfrey Show five times, and a four day series on Fox TV regarding dating. She appears frequently on ABC, Fox, CBS and NBC News, The View, 20/20, and CNN; and is often featured in USA Today and the New York Times. Visit Dr. Bonnie at http://www.DoctorBonnie.com.

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