Magic Mike and Women's Erotica: Women are the New Men

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Women young and old are flocking to see Magic Mike - the newly-released movie telling the tale of a male stripper (Wall Street Journal,http://on.wsj.com/N4tjuP). Movies and entertainment like this, on the heels of Shades of Grey, are the new erotic drug - without causing guilt or dependency says relationship therapist Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil.

Movie Magic Mike is on the big screen (Wall Street Journal, http://on.wsj.com/N4tjuP), and women are taking part in this type of fantasy in ways we often attributed to men says relationship expert Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil. Between this movie and the Shades of Grey trilogy, erotica is taken over - but without the guilt or dependency that drugs and addiction cause because women can use these novelties to bring sizzle back to their relationship. Dr. Bonnie sees this as a positive: "Women are free and can enjoy the same pleasures as men, not only when it comes to career and ambition but when it comes to sex as well. It's the second women's lib movement! Women who are getting turned on by these types of books and movies can then take that excitement back to their partner."

Additionally, more women are also seeking to enhance their libido with over-the-counter treatments; an article in the New York Times says women are looking for solutions to get their sex life back on track (http://nyti.ms/Okr6g2).

Women are frequently burnt out, overworked, and have difficulty sleeping because of the stress. For this reason, they need guilty pleasures to help them stay more balanced. Dr. Bonnie says these types of entertainment are a great alternative to stress eating or drinking; it's a way of fantasizing and over-correcting for the additional work they're doing. It's helping women who have been supermom to sublimate their feelings of overwork and burn out while catering to their need for sizzle, novelty, excitement, romance which is missing in many relationships. Who has the time?

To that end, Dr. Bonnie says movies and books like Magic Mike and 50 Shades of Grey can actually help couples bring back the missing romance and magic. In her books Can we Cure and Forgive Adultery, and Make Up Don't Break Up, Dr. Bonnie talks about the importance of women's fantasies and guilty pleasures. She encourages women: "Why not act out some of those fantasies and guilty pleasures - and have an affair! But with your own partner!" The best thing for burn-out and stress-busting is sex!

Because of this, Dr. Bonnie feels this series can actually help prevent adultery. "Have an affair with your own partner!" she encourages. "Some of my patients are even reading excerpts of the book to their husbands, or go to the movie together, so they can act out scenarios." The downside is that men may feel more pressure to perform and pleasure women sexually as well as emotionally, so it's important to be sensitive to that.

To build intimacy Dr. Bonnie suggests starting with a 30 second kiss or 20 second hug as a pre-requisite for foreplay. Stress that women are under causes hormonal changes that require soothing such as a 20 second hug or 30 second kiss - and sex. No matter how the book impacts you, Dr. Bonnie reminds women that it's important to restore the sizzle and magic of a relationship; having an affair with your own partner can be a great way to do so.

Dr. Bonnie talks more about these techniques in her book, Adultery the Forgivable Sin, which was made into a movie with Kate Jackson. She was also featured in the documentary Unfaithful which aired on Discovery Health and the Oprah Winfrey Network. http://bit.ly/GSP0KB

To learn more about Dr. Bonnie, click here: http://youtu.be/BjrqJoWX3K4; She also discusses infidelity (http://bit.ly/I8N7rX) and stress and sleep: http://youtu.be/A2ZmcpuP1j0

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