(PRWEB) July 05, 2012
The 4th of July should be a time for family, food, and good friends. But wives might find their partner distracted if he's engaged in or contemplating an affair. Dr. Bonnie points to the cheater that is trying to pull one over on all parties involved: "The guy who takes his wedding ring off and goes 'on the hunt' is especially troublesome, like the "indie cheater;" that's one of the most sneaky and narcissistic things he could do because he is lying to not only his wife but his potential mistress." Fortunately, since the summer months have arrived, a ring-finger suntan will be a tell-tale sign that this type of cheater should be wearing a wedding ring.
Aside from sneaking around during time that should be spent with family, relationship therapist Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil says "indie cheaters" are a particularly troubling kind of narcissist because they're out to hurt so many people. It's imperative that people know when they're dealing with a narcissist, and how to handle the situation.
Dr. Bonnie explains that narcissism is a type of bullying, leaving everyone betrayed. She says that usually someone who engages in this type of behavior devalues others and may even be trying to hurt their partner. "It's a drastic form of bullying," she says.
To nip narcissism in the bud, Dr. Bonnie highlights these warning signs to look for this holiday - or any time. :
Do they turn the activities or conversations back to themselves?
Do they feel entitled?
Do they shut down and ignore other people?
She explains that this behavior comes from the Biochemical Craving for Connection, which she discusses in her book Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery. It pushes people toward a thrill-seeking high to make up for stress, loss, and separation they feel in their lives. She encourages partners dealing with a narcissist to engage in her Smart Heart Skills and Dialogue - "Learn the right questions to ask so this person begins to tell the truth, and begins to see their behavior for what it is."
And as for the potential mistress, Dr. Bonnie suggests another type of dialogue: "Look at his ring finger. If there's a suntan line, chances are he's married and trying to pull the wool over the eyes of both his wife AND a potential mistress by lying and saying he's unmarried."
For more tips from on how to handle a narcissist, click here: http://youtu.be/nmEShUlejj8, or check out her book Make Up Don't Break Up.