Charleston, SC (PRWEB) September 21, 2012
"When we allow the winds of life to set the course for us, they will take us wherever they want. It is only after taking control of those winds and using them to carry us to our destination that we have control of our life," says Burrow Hill, relationship expert.
Nevermore, an obvious example of the winds of life blowing a couple where it wants is in the exceptional 2012 movie, Hope Springs. The characters of Arnold and Kay, played by Tommy Lee Jones and Meryl Streep to absolute perfection, have allowed those winds of life to blow them to a place where, after 31 years of marriage, Kay does not want to be, any longer.
With so many lessons about real life contained in this one movie, it is difficult to cover all of them here. Led by Kay, she has decided they need to take control of their lives together by attending intensive couples counseling. Her belief is that after reaching this stage in the relationship, she wants to re-kindle their love, affection, attraction and intimacy.
At this point, it is important to point out that the female, Kay, has taken the lead in the relationship building. Women are far better at this than most men, in this writer’s opinion. Women are smarter, more intuitive and stronger emotionally, therefore it only makes complete sense that men should willingly follow their lead in this area. It will only make the relationship better.
While Arnold, who has more routines and habits than most OCD sufferers, finally goes along, albeit with dramatic complaining and downright bullying. This movie scarily demonstrates just how far apart two people can drift, living in the same house.
Now, why is that? It is really very simple. Most couples do not possess the tools to maintain, manage or improve their relationship.
How can that be? Each person coming into a relationship has received 16 to 20 years of training...to get a job...no training at all for their relationship. By this model, we then define ourselves by our job, thereby focusing almost solely on work.
"Your relationship; with the most important person in your life, the person you have chosen to spend your life with, to bear your soul to, only gets the ‘leftovers’. ‘Leftovers’ after a long, hard day at work, when your intellectual and physical energy has been depleted. ‘Leftovers’ from your waking hours. So, after 8-12 hours at work, the relationship only gets a couple of hours in the evening and maybe one hour in the morning, of which most is consumed by the necessities of having a home together," stated by Hill.
For everything Kay sees lacking in their relationship, Arnold sees nothing. By using every means and method available to her, short of force, to get Arnold to go to counseling, he reluctantly goes along, at the very last instant possible.
Without a relationship check that occurs at least annually, Kay and Arnold find themselves back at ‘square one’. Had they been spending some time away each year to look at their relationship, they would not have been so profoundly uncomfortable talking to one another, much less kissing. The movie conveys this discomfort so well that the audience physically feels the same emotion.
The counseling Kay and Arnold receive yields some small successes and many uncomfortable setbacks. Their journey from celibacy to intimacy proves to be longer and more difficult than imagined, but they make it!
Deep down and I mean way deep down, the love and commitment Kay and Arnold have is what sustains them along their journey. Through an excruciating process, their love and commitment if brought back to the surface where they were then able to re-design their relationship as they both want it to be.
By using the wind to their advantage, Kay and Arnold sailed toward the happiness they desired.
So, where will the winds of life take you?
About Burrow Hill
Burrow Hill calls beautiful Charleston, South Carolina his home with wife Helen and their children. Couples travel across the globe to meet with Burrow and experience his unique approach and exquisite Couples Retreats where he personally walks them through his Marriage Talk Tools process. Burrow knows and understands the importance of what a solid relationship can bring to a persons life. Burrow will share the secrets he practices to keep his marriage exciting with his wife Helen. He has applied these for over 20 years to keep her as the love of his life.
If you would like to run the above article, please feel free to do so. I am able to provide images if you would like some to accompany it. If you’re interested in interviewing Burrow Hill for a feature/Q&A, let me know and I’ll gladly work out details. Lastly, please let me know if you’d be interested in receiving a copy of his book, Talk Tools, for possible review.