Colorado Springs, CO (PRWEB) September 21, 2012
Like their live counterparts, ghosts are reluctant to change. So much so that they remain largely invisible, often replaying their life-ending tragedies.
People can become glued to the “rear view mirror”, too; looking backward so much that they never see what’s ahead of them. Like ghosts, sometimes couples don’t know there’s a way out of that bind.
Over 16 years of private practice, Kathe Skinner, Certified Relationship Specialist and Marriage & Family therapist, has seen people whose difficulties today result from what happened in the past along with the choice to remain stuck in it. “We can’t do something about what keeps us unhappy unless we recognize and acknowledge that we are indeed unhappy. And you’d be surprised at how many people have no clue there’s a problem and that they’re part of it,” she finishes.
Skinner goes on to say that it isn’t until something attention-getting happens – a spousal affair, an acting-out child, divorce, inability to keep friendships – that a hard look is taken. Skinner thinks that the hard look needs to begin with taking a look in and around yourself.
Noted psychologist and marriage researcher John Gottman’s oft-repeated assertion that it takes 6 years for a couple in trouble to seek help points toward the concept of developing self-awareness before other-awareness can occur. Six years or sixty years can pass before some people are unhappy being unhappy; haunting may develop around people who choose to remain unhappy to the end. What better place than a haunted hotel to talk about that.
“I’m not advocating being trapped in place like a ghost,” Skinner explains, “but I do think that ghosts, in this case ghosts of our past, have a lot to tell us.” There’s no arguing that spirits have had a long time to think about what to say.
Noted psychologists Jeffrey Young and Janet Klosko may have had some ghostly input into their development of “schema theory”, which holds that maladaptive adult behavior results from the confluence of nature and nurture in early life. For example, a child growing up in a family that believes that “children should be seen and not heard” and discourages self-expression, may not grow up to like Speech class, or be a storyteller around the campfire. Most specters would most likely agree that some experiences on the mortal plane are deadly to the spirit.
Kathe Skinner hopes that some ghosts will be listening in on Being Heard’s Couples Retreat as couples hunt for the ghosts of their past. Could be that The Stanley’s ghosts would have more reason to hang around, and that the hotel would drop off the list of haunted hotels. Somehow, life after death, like life during life, won’t be that easy.