More Women Are Allowing Men to Have an Affair Say

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More couples are reporting that they are willing to turn a blind eye to their partners playing away, according to a new survey by adult dating site

Around half of men and women quizzed anonymously on the dating website, said that their partners had either ‘given them permission to have an affair’ or ‘probably knew but don’t ask’. The results suggest that traditional British conservatism is giving way to a more continental view on long-term commitment.

The website, which has more than 600,000 members in the UK, asked nearly 1000 regular users how they skit around the awkward issue of their extramarital love life with their partners. Nearly one in three (30%) said that their partner ‘had no idea of their affairs and fear their marriage or relationship would end if their partner found out.’. 22% said that their partner ‘had no idea about their affairs but they would probably work things out if they got caught.’

Surprisingly though, these expected responses were only in the majority by a fraction. Nearly as many had a laissez faire response to playing away. Another third (30%) answered that ‘their partner probably knows but doesn’t ask,’ and a minority 18% answered that their partner granted them permission to use the site. founder Paul Graham said: “This wasn’t what we expected with the research. We expected only a fraction of members to say that their partner knew about their affairs but it was a near 50-50 split. We all assume that the majority of people would be horrified at the thought of their spouse or partner having a fling with someone else. But it seems that people now recognise that a marriage can’t answer all our needs all of the time. Most of our members don’t want to split up their family but they have a need to satisfy some adult interaction elsewhere. In many cases, a break from the routine of a relationship can help it in the long run.”

Graham, 57, on his second marriage has used adult dating websites for ten years including He said: “I love my wife but she likes different things. She¹s into her grandchildren and meeting her lady friends for lunch. I¹m too randy for her. Lots of women aren¹t interested in sex especially when they get older. They go through changes and it’s not their fault. But men are men and they want to keep going all their life. My wife knows I use these sites, and my first wife did too. I think honesty is always best but I just don’t rub her nose in it.”

The survey revealed that more women than men are willing to share their partner. Out of women, only 20% divulged that their husbands or boyfriends had granted permission or turned a blind eye for them to have a fling. But out of men, the total figure for those whose wives had either given them outright permission, or turned a blind eye was much higher at 58%.

Paul Graham adds: “The survey suggests that a more flexible and realistic attitude to commitment is emerging. In France and Italy everyone knows that the mistress culture is rife. But they also have a lower divorce rate. Rigid fidelity is not necessarily the answer to a long-lasting marriage.”

Note to editors: Graham is willing to be interviewed by press and be photographed for a small case-study fee. He has a ROR from his wife but will not show a picture of his her, only himself. Please email office(at)

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Paul Graham
New Domains Ltd
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