Tucson, AZ (PRWEB) July 31, 2013
Active Respect shows your children that you love and respect them enough to hold them accountable for their behavior – using natural and logical consequences, nationally renowned radio and family counselor Dr. Randy Carlson says.
"In fact, it’s because you love them so much that you can’t allow your son or daughter to get away with inappropriate behaviors or attitudes," says Dr. Carlson, president of the Intentional Living Center, where the non-profit ministry helps people live intentionally in the five essential areas of life: Faith, Family, Health, Finances and Work.
Carlson says active Respect is always proactive, never reactive.
"Intentional parenting doesn’t allow you to sit back passively and not respond when a child is doing something wrong, letting things build up over time," Dr. Carlson says.
"Instead, an intentional parent says, ‘No, I’m going to focus on the problem, I’m going to be proactive about it. I’m not going to wait for it to build up, or wait for my emotions to get out of hand. I’m going to proactively deal with this while I have it in front of me," Dr. Carlson says.
Many parents will either react by yelling or screaming at their child in anger, Dr. Carlson says, while others just wait – tolerating bad behavior – and then eventually explode in frustration.
Intentional parenting takes fewer words, Dr. Carlson says. Active respect is based on the behavior of the child, and the consequences are always action-oriented.
"I’ve always said, instead of raising your voice, raise your child. Sometimes I call it ‘quiet consequences.’ In fact, raising your voice does very little," Dr. Carlson says.
"Children may respond or react to a raised voice, but only after it reaches a certain decibel level, or after you count to two-and-a-half. Intentional parenting with active respect doesn’t require very many words because the consequence will be a ‘life lesson’ teacher for the child."
Children don’t respect words, they only respect action, Dr. Carlson says.
"It’s action that matters – and action with kids is teaching them that there are consequences for their behaviors," he said. "You’d like to think that your children are more internally motivated – out of good faith and a desire to please and honor God – that they would just automatically obey you. But all of us are sinful little creatures, and the reality is that children, just like you, need to know there are consequences."
Dr. Carlson says as they start to learn there’s a consequence for their behavior, initially they may change their behavior because they don’t like the consequence. But in time, they’ll start doing things out of a purer motive…because they know that it’s the right thing to do.
To find additional encouragement and support from Dr. Randy Carlson, visit Intentional Living.
About Dr. Randy Carlson:
When it comes to parenting, marriage, and other relationship issues, people are turning to best-selling author, counselor and radio personality Dr. Randy Carlson. Recognized as an advocate for the family, Randy hosts Intentional Living, a live daily call-in program syndicated to radio stations nationwide.
Randy is a licensed marriage and family therapist with a doctorate in counseling psychology and over twenty-six years of counseling experience. He shares wisdom, encouragement, and comfort from God's Word with people who call the daily Intentional Living program with issues that affect their families today. He has appeared on national radio and television talk shows such as Good Morning America, Focus on the Family with Dr. James Dobson, and Moody's Midday Connection. He also speaks at conferences and seminars around the country.
To schedule an interview with Dr. Randy Carlson, please call Evan Carlson 602-570-0945 or email ecarlson(at)flc(dot)org.