From Apathy to Awareness: 5 Tools to Reignite the Sex Life for Couples

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Sexual intimacy may be difficult to sustain in a long term relationship or marriage. Edy Nathan MS, LCSW gives couples 5 tools to reignite their sex life.

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Nothing kills a relationship like pity sex. It keeps you in control and your partner knows it. This cannot lead to intimate sex. It can lead to the death of the relationship.

The ability to sustain sexual intimacy within a long term relationship or marriage may be challenging. Couples often forget how to engage in conversation, touch, play, and humor when it comes to sex. Focusing on the verbal and non-verbal cues is necessary in keeping the intimate interactions alive. Sex therapist, Edy Nathan, MA, LCSW offers couples ways to reignite their desire and meet the people they have become. This is a chance for couples to move from apathy to awareness.

Nathan suggests 5 tools to enhance ones sexual intimacy with their partner:

1.    Leave negativity at the door. Imagine a time when sex and intimacy was good. Find a quiet time to share that memory.
2.    Set aside alone time to become reacquainted with desires and fantasies. When ready, share them.
3.    Talk honestly within the partnership about the hopes for sexual reengagement. Is there fear? Or anxiety? Describe in detail what gets in the way
4.    Foreplay is part of sex. It does not have to start with touch. Try a longer gaze than is normal, a new perfume or cologne, a conversation that has nothing to do with the kids or a shared bath.
5.    If having pity sex, stop it. Decide to have sex that is only worth having. Nathan says, “Nothing kills a relationship like pity sex. It keeps you in control and your partner knows it. This cannot lead to intimate sex. It can lead to the death of the relationship. Talk to your partner about sex that is worth having. You might be surprised to find that you can have what you want.”

Edy Nathan MA, LCSW in New York, NY, encourages people to enrich their relationships through an increased understanding of the self. It is easy to get into a cycle of avoidance when it comes to sex. Excuses for the lack of healthy, sexual intimacy can be countered by a desire to do it differently.

About Edy Nathan:
Edy Nathan is a licensed psychotherapist with over 20 years of experience specializing in grief. For two seasons, she was the therapist on the A&E TV Show, “Psychic Kids." She holds Masters from both New York University and Fordham University. She has post-graduate training from the Ackerman Institute for Family Therapy, The Gestalt Center and the Jungian Institute. She is a certified EMDR practitioner, regression therapist, certified hypnotherapist, relationship and grief expert. To find out more, visit EdyNathan.com.

For a complimentary meditation and more information about other topics related to grief, loss and trauma, please visit here.

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