I’ve learned many things that can make Father’s Day an enjoyable, peaceful experience for noncustodial dads.
(PRWEB) June 2, 2010
Divorce Magazine Publisher and Divorce Marketing Group CEO Dan Couvrette has 6 wise tips for noncustodial father’s who want to make Father’s Day a pleasant, enjoyable and memorable experience for them and especially their children.
“For a number of years, Father’s Day was a more challenging time for me than any other time of year,” notes Dan Couvrette. “My ex informed me that she wanted a divorce on Father’s Day 16 years ago. My kids were 5 and 10 at the time. To say it was tough for all of us to deal with would be an understatement. But over time, and with support from a number of people -- especially my second wife -- I’ve learned many things that can make Father’s Day an enjoyable, peaceful experience for noncustodial dads. I’m hopeful that some of my tips will help struggling dads this Father’s Day.”
Tip #1: Focus on your children. Though it’s called “Father’s Day” and you may be the one getting a gift (yes, it will be a tie), the real gift is the one you can give to your children by making it easy and stress-free for all of you. Depending on their age, your children may be struggling with “adult-sized” emotions like guilt and shame. Don’t add to their stress through your negative attitude.
Tip #2: Plan well in advance and be flexible. Don’t assume that because it's Father’s Day, you'll have the children. Talk to your ex-spouse as soon as possible to clear a schedule that works for everyone (as best as possible). You may have to celebrate Father’s Day earlier or later than what the calendar says. If this is the case, then be flexible and don’t make this change a “big deal” for anyone. Treat it as a normal, sensible adjustment.
Tip #3: Be mindful of extended families. If your ex-spouse has re-married, you may not get “preferable Father’s Day time” compared to your children’s step-father. As unfair as this may seem, this isn’t the time or the place to tackle the issue -- because the biggest losers will be the children who get caught in the middle. If required by the final divorce decree or just because it’s the better part of wisdom, have an “alternative Father’s Day” with your children. Conversely, if you are a step-father and have the opportunity to spend Father’s Day with your step-children, include them in your planning.
Tip #4: Enjoy the day! If you’re spending the day with your children, do your best to make it a great day. However, even if you can’t spend the day with your children, try and have some fun anyway. Engage yourself in activities or spend time with people you love. Don’t sit at home and relive unpleasant memories, or rehash unpleasant conversations, about your divorce.
Tip #5: Avoid “one-upsmanship.” You may want to dazzle your children by giving them a wonderful, luxury Father’s Day experience. That’s fine – as long as your intentions and motives aren't to put down the children’s mother or their step-father. Father’s Day isn't an opportunity for you to score some "revenge points." Be a role model.
Tip #6: Consider counseling. Father’s Day, and all of the marketing hoopla that surrounds it, can trigger an emotional storm within you. This can create pain, stress and depression. Rather than trying to deal with these challenging emotional issues yourself, consider reaching out to a qualified counselor who can help you deal with these feelings in an honest, safe and productive manner.
Fathers seeking more advice can visit Divorce Magazine to browse through an extensive library of practical and easy-to-read articles on a variety of divorce issues. The website also lists local marriage counselors and other allied support professionals who can help fathers (and others) deal with the emotional and psychological challenges triggered by Father’s Day, and other holidays.
About Divorce Magazine/DivorceMagazine.com
Launched in 1996, Divorce Magazine is North America’s only magazine devoted entirely to divorce. It's published twice a year with six regional editions (California, Texas, Illinois, Florida, New York/New Jersey and Ontario), and is full of helpful articles as well as guides to local divorce professionals, including family lawyers. The magazine’s website, DivorceMagazine.com, has been the leading divorce-related website since 1996, offering a diverse archive with thousands of pages of self-help articles as well as public forums, polls, and information on local divorce professionals. For more information on Divorce Magazine and DivorceMagazine.com, contact publisher and CEO Dan Couvrette at (888) 217-9538 ext. 24, or email DanC(at)divorcemag(dot)com.
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