I am an ex-perpetrator who has changed my behavior and worked things through with my partner. I decided to face the shame of going public to help others. I am so glad to still have my family, we are proof that there is a much better way.
(PRWEB) December 21, 2007
Kim & Steve Cooper, ''ex - Domestic Abuse Couple Gone Public,'' authorities, radio chat hosts and authors of ''Back from the Looking Glass: Living with the Disorder that Causes Emotional and Domestic Abuse,'' recently published an online advice guide.
In the past Kim Cooper was helped by an experienced police officer, who taught her that early intervention could change her husband's behavior and stop the fights.
"He saved our marriage," said Kim Cooper. "Much of the advice online is dangerous. Telling a partner to ‘just leave’ shifts responsibility onto the victim, can escalate the violence and deter a partner from seeking help," said Cooper.
The couple has these important tips for anyone in a domestically violent relationship:
1. Do not isolate yourself - get out and meet people. Let church and community leaders including the D.V. officer at your local police station know that you are having troubles.
2. Get help before you are ready to leave or get divorced. Early intervention can save your marriage.
3. If you decide to leave, get good advice, support and protection first. More partners are injured or killed during the two months after leaving than any other time.
4. Marriage counseling is not advised for couples with D.V. issues. Intervention is much more important and beneficial.
5. Do not wait until you are upset or in danger to talk to the police. Ask to see your local D.V. officer when you are calm and clear headed. Get advice first on what help to ask for and at home call the police as soon as the intimidation begins.
6. Give time and attention to your kids and don’t ask them to take sides - forgetting about your troubles and focusing instead on giving interest and attention to your children will help bring you all closer.
7. Do not think that things will get better by themselves, thinking that you can say or do something different 'next time' doesn't work. You need to take actions for things to improve.
"The heart of our message is that early intervention can save marriages," said Steve Cooper. “I am an ex-perpetrator who has changed my behavior and worked things through with my partner. I decided to face the shame of going public to help others. I am so glad to still have my family, we are proof that there is a much better way.”
The advice in the Cooper's guide will also help victims of emotional abuse. "Emotional abuse, untreated deteriorates over the years into violence," says Kim. "Get help early."
The couple recently co-authored ''Back from the Looking Glass - Living with the Disorder that Causes Emotional and Domestic Abuse.'' Available online, the book offers support to anyone currently trapped in a violent relationship. Kim and Steve's Guide is available at http://www.stopthefights.com . While there, follow the subscribe link to get the couple's weekly radio program. "Our radio show offers ongoing support,” says Steve.
Kim & Steve have a media Room with pictures, other releases and advice to professionals at http://www.clergyanddomesticviolence.com/ .