The key is developing interpersonal creativity- the ability to actively think and behave in ways that uplift the energy of the couple.
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Huntington Beach, CA (PRWEB) January 9, 2009
Todd Creager, LCSW, LMFT, a marriage and sex therapist has come out with a book, "The Long, Hot Marriage, " a book that can convince you that long term relationships and passionate sex actually do go together. The book teaches you how to awaken the sleeping marriage, not only in the bedroom but outside of it as well. Todd Creager says, "The key is developing interpersonal creativity- the ability to actively think and behave in ways that uplift the energy of the couple." Many people are going through financial challenges and there is a feeling of "crisis" in our country. During times like these, people can get into a "survival" mode and forget that we need to tend to the relationships in our life, especially the one with our intimate partner.
The typical way of thinking about marriage is that it is a surefire way to end all passion and romance. Todd Creager makes the argument that this thinking is based on what we have observed in our parents and other ancestors, people who have not developed the interpersonal creativity he talks about in his book. Instead of blindly believing that marriage and passion are not compatible, he teaches couples how to 'blaze their own new path' that creates a very different interpersonal environment that allows for more emotional and physical connection between them.
The book has been endorsed by notable authors and marriage and sex experts including John Gray ("Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus") and Harville Hendrix ("Getting the Love You Want" and frequent Oprah Winfrey guest). John Gray wrote, "Todd Creager does a wonderful job at showing you how to develop the emotional muscle and skills to overcome the challenges and obstacles to having an alive, passionate relationship. He does it in a straightforward style that challenges you to be more interpersonally creative." Harville Hendrix wrote, "This wonderful book was written by a wise, deep and experienced therapist with heart who can write clear, succinct and accessible paragraphs that convey a realistic message. His message: you are responsible for the impact you make on your partner. The quality and duration of your relationship including sexuality is determined by the way you perceive and relate to your partner. In addition to clear concepts, he offers lucid examples from his own practice as well as clear guidance that any couple can understand. I heartily recommend this book to all couples."
The book is an outgrowth of what has worked for him with the couples he has helped over the 26 years he has been in private practice. He has seen that the major blocks to a long, hot marriage is how people get locked into their perceptions of each other and also the ineffective ways people deal with their emotional pain together. The book shows how you can unlock your limited perceptions of your partner and how that can lead to bringing the best out of your partner. It also shows you how to develop the emotional muscle to deal with difficult feelings without the common fight or flight reactions that partners typically exhibit. He has seen that couples who can stay connected through their emotional pain can much more easily learn to capture the romance and passion of their early relationship.
As this solid foundation begins to form, the couple can learn how to be more attentive and impactful lovers. Being a great lover has less to do with great technique and more to do with how you are with each other. It is important to learn how to be in the present moment, become better "receivers" of love and pleasure and develop other traits and attitudes that most people can achieve with the guidance of this book and the willingness to do some of the creative exercises.
You can read many of his informative past published articles on relationships at both home and work on his website.
About Todd Creager:
Todd Creager is a licensed clinical social worker and licensed marriage and family therapist with a specialty in couples and human sexuality. He has a private practice in Huntington Beach, CA and gives talks on relationships throughout the country.
The Todd Creager Center for Successful Relationships, Inc.