Well, we decided foreign sounded better than alien, we don't want the citizens of this country to feel like we're alienating them. Aliens are like the people who illegally cross over the border from Mexico, that doesn't apply to the people of this country, at least not yet.
Hendersonville, NC (PRWEB) December 10, 2005
R.K. Ferguson's new book brings humor to U.S. politics. He writes:
There was some consternation over using 'foreign' to describe the country surrounding Washington, D.C. A top level State Department official attending the opening ceremony and party afterwards was overheard commenting, "Well, we decided foreign sounded better than alien, we don't want the citizens of this country to feel like we're alienating them. Aliens are like the people who illegally cross over the border from Mexico, that doesn't apply to the people of this country, at least not yet."
"But," a senator listening replied, "I thought this was a foreign country's embassy opening, a country like Racketeeristan. This isn't a foreign country, this is the United States."
"Honored Sir," the State Department official said with just the barest contempt he could muster without openly insulting the senator, "We don't open embassies unless they are in a foreign country. Look around. What do you think just happened here? If we have opened an embassy here, then we are in a foreign country.
"The reason the President authorized opening an embassy here is based on multiple verified intelligence sources. There are WMDs everywhere around here and probably numerous IEDs, too, well within range of the White House, the Capitol Building, and the Supreme Court. The President greatly desires for diplomacy to be given a chance to work, that's why he decided to open a full-fledged embassy, not just a consulate's office. He doesn't want another Iraq. He'll only call in the armed forces if the WMDs and IEDs are not voluntarily given up."
"Sir," the flabbergasted senator retorted, "I repeat; this is the United States of America. This is not a foreign country. Furthermore, I am on the senate Military Intelligence Committee and I have heard nothing of WMDs and IEDs being everywhere in this area."
The State Department official responded with a flat iron edge in his voice, "Senator, you can call this country whatever you like, but since we have opened an embassy here, it is a foreign country. If you haven't heard about the WMDs and IEDs here, sir, I would suggest you attend your committee meetings more faithfully."
At this point the senator's aides none to gently interposed themselves between the two men before they came to blows and this writer slipped out into a dark, frigid December drizzle. You don't have to travel to southern Arizona, California, New Mexico, or Texas to feel foreign, alien, or alienated; I am now standing just blocks from what is fast becoming one of the world's hotspots, the border between the United States and Washington, D.C. I'm sticking to the shadows this close to the border; I may not be one of those Wild-eyed Moderate Democrats, but I am one of those Independent Expletive Deletives.
This report filed by R.K. Ferguson, author of 'That's No Miracle...Nettles, Thistles, Humor, and Stories by a Scotch American', available as an electronic download at http://www.lulu.com/rkferguson or as a paperback at the just mentioned website, or through your favorite independent bookstore, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Borders, and Waldenbooks. For previous press releases go to: http://www.prweb.com/releases/2005/11/prweb314230.htm