Classic TV Characters From Years Past Bring Big Laughs In New Year

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Where do classic television characters go when the show no longer goes on? To Cathode Ray's Bar & Grill, where each day through its blue, glass door step some of the most beloved folks to have ever spent time in America's living rooms. But when a plot to break Cathode Ray's one prohibition--no TVs--goes awry, it puts in motion a series of mishaps and mayhem in this satirical tribute to classic TV.

'A satire of classic TV so funny, witty and unique it's worth buying an e-Reader just to enjoy Cathode Ray's.'

New Satire Brings Together Classic TV Characters In One Place

THE AIRWAVES, USA–Hawkeye Pierce, Archie Bunker, Lucy, Ralph Kramden and Cosmo Kramer, along with dozens of other beloved, classic TV characters, have staged a rare reunion to help bring laughs and nostalgia to eReaders in the New Year.

A hilarious new satire explores what becomes of classic TV characters once they are no longer on the air, and presents what would happen if some of the most famous and cherished of those characters were to come together in one place and time.

“Cathode Ray’s,” a new parody from Gainesville, Fla.-based author Frank J. Diekmann, features the more than a half-century of adored friends and mischievous villains who have filled America’s living rooms. The humorous book is available for download at Barnes & Noble,, iTunes (Apple),,, and others, where it can be quickly accessed in a variety of formats for e-Books and even as a PDF for readers who prefer to download to their PC.

In a joint where the cast of characters is a cast of characters, Bartender Archie Bunker has one, firm rule at Cathode Ray’s Bar & Grille: No televisions. Yet Cosmo Kramer and Ralph Kramden have a scheme to get rich quick and install “TV sets,” even if that means sneaking around below Archie’s always out-of-joint nose. But their plan soon goes astray, and faster than you can say “We’ll be right back after these messages,” cops and private eyes are investigating, super-heroes and super-models are debating, and Old West doctors and Korean War surgeons are offering prescriptions for the curious events suddenly taking place at Cathode Ray’s.

Yet as this satire brings to life, even though the game show hosts are physically incapable of not smiling, there’s a mysterious, dark rumor circulating at Ray’s about “cancellations.” Indeed, quicker than a mustache twist, Groucho Marx has apparently gone missing. Was he cancelled? Did Kramer and Kramden have anything to do with it? Why are J.R. Ewing and Blake Carrington offering competing rewards? Does Baretta’s cockatoo, Fred, know more than he’s letting on? And who is this crazy Nielsen family everyone seems to have heard of but no one has ever met?

Talk show host Phil Donahue sees an opportunity for big ratings inside Cathode Ray’s and, determined to get answers, stages an unintentionally hilarious, three-night trial during which Lassie proves to be the most rational member of the jury. Before the real Groucho Marx can please stand up and name that mystery, confusion and absurdity reign as characters from different places, different times and even different planets play their own roles.
It’s just another night at Cathode Ray’s.

About the Author: Newspaper reporter and frequent conference speaker Frank J. Diekmann has spent a lot of time in hotel rooms with a TV on in the background. Too much time. So much time he got to wondering about what happens to classic and beloved TV characters when they are no longer on the air. Now where do they go at night? To Cathode Ray’s Bar & Grill, of course. Mr. Diekmann can be contacted at

How to order:

CONTACT: Frank J. Diekmann cathoderaysbook(at)gmail(dot)com,


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