Ten Tips for Working With an Everyday Narcissist from Work/Life Consulting

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How to successfully work with an everyday narcissist. Ten tips for managing workplace narcissism.

Do you wonder if someone in your personal or work life might be a narcissist?

Melissa Schenker, founder of Work/ Life Consulting and author of “Sweet Relief from The Everyday Narcissist” details ten tips for the new year if you're working with an everyday narcissist.

Do you wonder if someone in your personal or work life might be a narcissist? If so, these are tips that can help you resolve some of your questions and give you the tools to move forward.

1.    Learn how to recognize true narcissistic behavior.

2.    Rely on positive reinforcement, avoid criticism and anger. A narcissist thrives on attention. When a Narcissist cannot get positive attention they will try to get negative attention. In the workplace, the best thing is to stay neutral.

3.    Understand that a Narcissist has a hard time when your ideas are not the same as his/her ideas. He’ll reject them, he’ll try to get you to comply with his ideas. Avoid “I think”, “I want” statements with a Narcissist.

4.    Keep calm in dealing with a narcissist. Find other ways to process your anger. A Narcissist will mirror the emotions of those they interact with. If you get upset and angry they will do the same.

5.    Have a phrase to use when you are at a loss. Make a list of phrases. Since disagreement is bound to happen, devise simple phrases you can use to ease yourself out of impending conflict or upset.

6.    Focus on effectiveness for your own self. Focus on your big picture goals for this workplace. When you are in calm state, devise strategies to maintain your calm when your buttons, inevitably, get pushed. Know that you have more emotional skills and it’s up to you to use them on your own behalf.

7.    Plan for interactions; be prepared. Practice different approaches.

8.    Apply these four words to your interactions with the Narcissist at the workplace: Effectiveness. Diplomacy. Compassion. Equanimity.

9.    Accept that certain elements of the Narcissist’s being are the way they are and that they will not change. Do not bother trying to change these elements. A Narcissist is unaware of the effect they have on others.

10.    Have low expectations regarding their people skills. Management remedies that include vague “improve people skills” goals will not make a difference. A narcissist needs to be told exactly what is expected, and the consequences of not meeting expectations must be employed directly and consistently until a Narcissist learns new ways of interacting.

Sign up now for Melissa Schenker's "Path to Sweet Relief" Seminars - http://tinyurl.com/l9zwfps.

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Melissa Schenker
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