You need to establish a completely different level of communication with a brand new set of dynamics. Sometimes saying little or nothing at all may be the best policy.
Tucson, AZ (PRWEB) July 26, 2013
Divorced couples can find common ground renowned radio host and family counselor Dr. Randy Carlson says.
Getting along with a former spouse ranks as the most difficult part of divorce, Carlson says. But it’s vitally important to harmonize shared priorities and commitments.
“You owe that to yourself to your children, if you have them,” says Dr. Carlson, president of Family Life Communications and founder of the Intentional Living Center based in Tucson, Ariz. “It’s no surprise that research shows that children from divorced couples fare better when their parents make getting along a priority.”
Dr. Carlson points out a former spouse might want not to reconcile.
“But that’s not an excuse to abandon your efforts,” Dr. Carlson says. “Determine that you will move forward toward reconciliation, trusting God for wisdom and strength.”
Dr. Carlson lists four keys for former spouses to work out differences: 1. Redefining their relationship, 2. Staying away from trigger events or words, 3. Define goals, 4. Pray for the attitude of Christ.
“You’re no longer married lovers,” Dr. Carlson says, explaining why former couples should redefine their relationship. “You’re adults with a shared responsibility. Putting the past behind you will be difficult, but you must do the best you can together to recognize how your relationship has changed and adjust how you interact accordingly.”
Bringing up the past can trigger arguments, Dr. Carlson says.
“You need to establish a completely different level of communication with a brand new set of dynamics. Sometimes saying little or nothing at all may be the best policy.”
Dr. Carlson says communicating will not be easy if it were not early during the marriage.
“If it was impossible to cooperate with your ex-spouse when you were married, don’t expect it to be any easier now…but having a goal in mind will help,” he said. “If your primary desire is to cooperate in parenting, keep that goal front and center. If your target is to resolve family or personal conflicts, keep that in focus.”
To find additional encouragement and support from Dr. Randy Carlson, visit Intentional Living.
About Dr. Randy Carlson:
When it comes to parenting, marriage, and other relationship issues, people are turning to best-selling author, counselor and radio personality Dr. Randy Carlson. Recognized as an advocate for the family, Randy hosts Intentional Living, a live daily call-in program syndicated to radio stations nationwide.
Randy is a licensed marriage and family therapist with a doctorate in counseling psychology and over twenty-six years of counseling experience. He shares wisdom, encouragement, and comfort from God's Word with people who call the daily Intentional Living program with issues that affect their families today. He has appeared on national radio and television talk shows such as Good Morning America, Focus on the Family with Dr. James Dobson, and Moody's Midday Connection. He also speaks at conferences and seminars around the country.
To schedule an interview with Dr. Randy Carlson, please call Evan Carlson 602-570-0945 or email ecarlson(at)flc(dot)org.