There is no more vital decision in the hands of every couple than, when to start a family and how many children to have.
(PRWEB) February 04, 2014
FamilyThinking.com announced today: Your Family Size decision is the most important decision of your marriage. Dr. Alan Singer has told thousands of couples in his 36 years as a marriage therapist, that there is no more vital decision in the hands of every couple than, when to start a family and how many children to have. “I stress vital decision”, Singer says, “because other marital decisions, such as where to live, are in the hands of every couple, but don’t rank nearly as high as the family size decision.”
Employment, proximity of extended family, and fertility are also essential to a marriage, but they are not decisions that are firmly in the hands of each couple. Singer’s announcement coincides with the release of Guttmacher Institute data showing that over 50% of the 6.6 million pregnancies each year in the U.S. are unintended. Singer pleads with his couples, “Please wake up and smell the data”.
Singer, author of Creating Your Perfect Family Size cites the Pew research study in which 1000 parents were asked why they decided to have a child. One third of the parents responded, “No reason, it just happened,” which Singer says sends chills down his spine. A marriage therapist since 1978, Singer boasts of an 80% success rate in keeping couples together. Based in NY/NJ, he advises couples throughout the U.S. via Skype and Google Hangout. His book provides couples with the tools for deciding their own ideal family size, including 94 self-test questions for all future parents.
Singer’s chief concern: Dozens of noteworthy research studies have shown that marital satisfaction declines with each child because of the enormous cost of each child, emotionally and financially. “That being the case, I don’t want couples to have children…for no reason. I believe that the whimsical approach to this crucial decision has significantly contributed to the agonizing 50% divorce rate in the U.S.”
“Don’t be haphazard about this decision….make your family size decision with confidence and determination!” And what does Singer recommend as the ideal family size? “As many or as few…as long as you think it through.” “Couples should not spend time contemplating the ideal number of children; they should ask themselves and each other one key question: Is now the best time in our lives, from a personal, health, and marital perspective, to have a(nother) child?”
Advice Bullet Points:
>Don’t have another child for gender balance: you may not get the gender you hoped for.
>Don’t have another child to mirror your family of origin: that was then; this is now.
>Don’t make up for lost time by having rapid-fire children: have a minimum 2 year space between children.
>Don’t have another child to hang onto your Nanny: some couples do it----I kid you not.
Creating Your Perfect Family Size is the only book ever written that equips couples in deciding how many children to have and the optimal spacing between children. According to Dr. Singer, “It’s a parenting book about marriage that I wrote on behalf of children…..because there is nothing a child needs more - not even a sibling - than for her parents to have a healthy stable marriage.”
About Dr. Alan Singer:
A Family Therapist since 1978, Singer received his Doctorate degree from Rutgers University and is a family and parenting columnist for the Home News Tribune of Central New Jersey. He blogs at http://www.FamilyThinking.com
He is an expert in family-size decision making and its impact on marriage.
For related stories to this topic, Singer can discuss:
Your Marriage and Your Children: How to Assure that Both Will Thrive?
What is the Ideal Number and Ideal Spacing of Children?
To schedule an interview with Dr. Singer, please call 732 572-2707 or email DrAlanSinger(at)aol(dot)com