Two to Tango – PsychTests’ Study Reveals 9 Key Factors In Relationship Satisfaction

Research by PsychTests.com uncovers 9 key factors that are more likely to result in stable, long-term, and satisfying relationships.

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Couples who consider their relationship stable and long-term make it a point to work together, whether it’s making decisions or resolving conflict.

Happy couples do things together, they work out issues together, they discuss, they share, and they play together.

The common theme for those with happy, long-term relationships is ‘togetherness’.

Montreal, Canada (PRWEB) June 28, 2014

Bets are already being made as to how long Kim Kardashian and Kanye West (or “Kimye”) will last, but there are many couples (Hollywood and non-Hollywood) who have been together a long time but who are not necessarily happy. So what is the key to both longevity and happiness? Researchers at PsychTests analyzed the relationships of 633 people through their Relationship Health Test. What they discovered was that stable, long-term couples possessed 9 key aspects that the other couples did not.

Researchers at PsychTests took a sample of people who a) have children and b) who have been together for at least ten years, and split them into three groups: Those who consider their relationship stable and long-term, those who don’t, and those who are not sure what their relationship future holds. They then asked people to rate their relationship (on a scale from 0 to 100) on 10 factors.

KEY RELATIONSHIP FACTORS
Here is what PsychTests uncovered:

Key relationship factor #1: They love and appreciate each other.
This factor assesses whether a couple offers mutual emotional support, treats each other with respect, and is affectionate with one another.

  •     Score for people who consider their relationship stable and long-term: 77
  •     Score for people who are not sure whether their relationship is stable and long-term: 56
  •     Score for people who do not consider their relationship stable and long-term: 38

Key relationship factor #2: They openly share their thoughts and feelings.
This factor assesses whether a couple is comfortable with the amount of communication there is between them, and how comfortable they are with self-disclosure.

  •     Score for people who consider their relationship stable and long-term: 71
  •     Score for people who are not sure whether their relationship is stable and long-term: 44
  •     Score for people who do not consider their relationship stable and long-term: 31

Key relationship factor #3: They make decisions together and share the burden of responsibilities together.
This factor assesses whether a couple works together to decide how different issues are dealt with, such as how money is spent and how chores are divided.

  •     Score for people who consider their relationship stable and long-term: 64
  •     Score for people who are not sure whether their relationship is stable and long-term: 41
  •     Score for people who do not consider their relationship stable and long-term: 32

Key relationship factor #4: They strive to resolve conflict constructively.
This factor assesses whether a couple uses healthy techniques when arguing, and whether the solution they come up with resolves the issue and leaves both partners satisfied.

  •     Score for people who consider their relationship stable and long-term: 66
  •     Score for people who are not sure whether their relationship is stable and long-term: 47
  •     Score for people who do not consider their relationship stable and long-term: 38

Key relationship factor #5: They have a healthy sex life.
This factor assesses whether a couple is content with the frequency and quality of their sexual encounters as well as the degree of passion.

  •     Score for people who consider their relationship stable and long-term: 72
  •     Score for people who are not sure whether their relationship is stable and long-term: 47
  •     Score for people who do not consider their relationship stable and long-term: 35

Key relationship factor #6: Their goals and values are compatible.
This factor assesses whether a couple have similar values or goals – or at least can easily negotiate any differences they have rather than trying to change each other.

  •     Score for people who consider their relationship stable and long-term: 79
  •     Score for people who are not sure whether their relationship is stable and long-term: 57
  •     Score for people who do not consider their relationship stable and long-term: 45

Key relationship factor #7: They make it a point to spend time together.
This factor assesses whether a couple is satisfied with the amount of time they spend together and whether they are able to find activities that they can both enjoy.

  •     Score for people who consider their relationship stable and long-term: 65
  •     Score for people who are not sure whether their relationship is stable and long-term: 37
  •     Score for people who do not consider their relationship stable and long-term: 30

Key relationship factor #8: They have similar social needs.
This factor assesses whether a couple is satisfied with their social life as a couple, whether they are both homebodies, socialites, or one partner has a more active social life than the other.

  •     Score for people who consider their relationship stable and long-term: 69
  •     Score for people who are not sure whether their relationship is stable and long-term: 47
  •     Score for people who do not consider their relationship stable and long-term: 37

Key relationship factor #9: They feel a sense of freedom.
This factor assesses whether the partners feel free to express their opinions openly, and generally don’t feel “suffocated” in a relationship.

  •     Score for people who consider their relationship stable and long-term: 74
  •     Score for people who are not sure whether their relationship is stable and long-term: 53
  •     Score for people who do not consider their relationship stable and long-term: 44

“What we can see is that there are still some issues to work out for the couples who are stable and long-term – everything isn’t perfect,” explains Dr. Jerabek, president of PsychTests. “But the common theme for those with happy, long-term relationships is ‘togetherness’. They do things together, they work out issues together, they discuss, and they share. And even if their relationship isn’t always perfect, our study indicates that happy and stable couples still experience fewer issues with dependency/neediness, finances, and parenting decisions.”

TIPS FOR HAPPY RELATIONSHIPS

Here are some tips offered by PsychTests that can help improve relationship satisfaction:

  •     Be a couple of individuals. One of the dimensions of a healthy relationship is the ability to see that you and your partner are separate people with different needs, opinions and moods. It's important to learn to respect individuality, as it is necessary for maintaining a mature relationship. Give your partner the space he/she needs to grow and live his/her life to the fullest, and do not rely on him/her to define who you are. This will give you both the opportunity to truly support each other while maintaining your own uniqueness. The better you are individually, the better your relationship will be.
  •     Boost your self-esteem. Many problems in a relationship, including a lack of trust, jealousy, and poor conflict resolution skills are often rooted in low self-esteem. Do you often feel that you are not worthy of your partner's love, or that he/she may find someone better at the next party he/she goes to? Take a long hard look at the mental messages you send yourself and the way you really feel about your own worth, and take the steps necessary to change them. Read books on self-esteem, do activities that make you feel good about yourself, look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are great, etc. If you think the task of building your self-esteem is too much work, remember that one day your self-depreciating behavior may actually convince your partner that you're not good enough for him/her!
  •     Bring the love back to life. Think back and find a beautiful moment with your partner that you truly enjoyed. If you are able to conjure at least a little bit of the magic, passion, or warmth that you felt at the time, you can use that to bring the affection back to your relationship. Consciously remind yourself of your partner's qualities. Remember why you got involved with him/her in the first place. Simply put, dig out the positive aspects, even if it's hard to do.
  •     The "quality time" conundrum. If you feel that you and your partner are not spending enough time together, there are three basic ways of dealing with this problem: We dub them "The Three Fs": fight, funnel, or flight. First, try to communicate the problem to your partner; let her/him know how much it bothers you, and ask him/her to help you solve it. In essence, "fight" to find a solution to the issue. You might also "funnel" your energy and some of your free time into activities that interest both of you and make you feel good. Finally, if you have tried everything you can to communicate this problem to your partner, have repeatedly failed to solve it, and consider it a really important bottom line issue that you are not willing to negotiate any further, you might want to consider leaving the relationship ("flight").
  •     Create some parenting rules. These can include what to you do if you disagree with your partner about a parenting issue, what to do when one parent isn't around when a particularly important decision needs to be made, what is acceptable/unacceptable behavior as a parent, etc. Remember that disagreements about parenting issues, especially if fights ensue in front of children, can cause a lot of confusion and may even escalate into problematic behaviors.

CONFLICT RESOLUTION DOs AND DON'Ts

  •     Don’t try to avoid confrontation at all costs. This results in a build-up of anger and frustration.
  •     Do take timing into consideration. Fighting before a party or in front of children is not ideal.
  •     Don’t bring up multiple issues at once. Stay focused and solve one problem at a time.
  •     Do find common ground. Begin by pointing out the things that you can agree on.
  •     Don’t attack your partner’s character. Stick to specific behaviors, for instance, say: “I disagree with the way you reprimand the kids,” Instead of “You are such a lousy parent.”
  •     Do try to see things from your partner’s perspective. Just like you, your partner has the right to see a situation differently.

Want to assess your relationship? Go to http://testyourself.psychtests.com/testid/2119

Professional users of this assessment (therapists, life coaches and counselors) can request a free demo of this or any other tests from ARCH Profile’s extensive battery: http://hrtests.archprofile.com/testdrive_gen_1.

To learn more about psychological testing, download this free eBook: http://hrtests.archprofile.com/personality-tests-in-hr

ABOUT PsychTests.com
PsychTests.com is a subsidiary of PsychTests AIM Inc. PsychTests.com is a site that creates an interactive venue for self-exploration with a healthy dose of fun. The site offers a full range of professional-quality, scientifically validated psychological assessments that empower people to grow and reach their real potential through insightful feedback and detailed, custom-tailored analysis.

PsychTests AIM Inc. originally appeared on the internet scene in 1996. Since its inception, it has become a pre-eminent provider of psychological assessment products and services to human resource personnel, therapists, academics, researchers and a host of other professionals around the world. PsychTests AIM Inc. staff is comprised of a dedicated team of psychologists, test developers, researchers, statisticians, writers, and artificial intelligence experts (see ARCHProfile.com). The company’s research division, Plumeus Inc., is supported in part by Research and Development Tax Credit awarded by Industry Canada.


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Relationship satisfaction infographic There are 9 key relationship factors needed to attain relationship paradise.

Couples who consider their relationship stable and long-term make it a point to work together, whether it’s making decisions or resolving conflict.