MDP encourages couples not to introduce new partners to their children right away.
(PRWEB) August 08, 2014
Online divorce service MyDivorcePapers.com (MDP) encourages their clients to move past the divorce and find happiness and companionship again. While it isn't always easy, many are able to rebuild their lives into something better than before, and they often do so with fellow divorced parents. These "blended families" can be very beneficial, but they're not without their baggage. That's why MDP has put together a tip sheet on how clients can successfully blend their blended families once they've moved past their divorce. Here are the company's recommendations.
Tip One: Move Slowly
MDP reminds those who've recently gone through the divorce papers and now find themselves dating another divorced parent to go slowly for the sake of all involved. “You're going to have a lot of issues that you need to be sure about before taking the step of blending your family with your new significant other's," a rep explained. "You have to make the right decision for both you and your kids, and that's a lot of moving parts."
MDP encourages couples not to introduce new partners to their children right away, and to continue treading carefully when bringing in the romantic aspects of the relationship. "Start as friends -- at least in how you present it to your kids, and get them used to the other person's presence. But only do that if you're sure this relationship belongs at the next level," the rep said.
Tip Two: Respect the Ex
When a couple with children decide to file for divorce, MDP notes, it can lead to some particularly tense situations once a new significant other is introduced. While one cannot live their lives for an ex, it's important to remember that the ex still has rights and potentially viable concerns regarding a new suitor. Explains the rep: "If your ex voices concerns about a new significant other, be firm but respectful. Courts may actually side with an ex when it comes to introducing new SOs to your kids if there is reason to think the new relationship is moving too quickly. Also, when it comes to parenting, make sure your new boyfriend or girlfriend understands that the job to parent is between you and your ex. That's not to say they can't offer guidance, but too much can be misconstrued as interfering with the parent-child relationship, and that only creates more conflict."
Tip Three: Get Both Sets of Children Used to One Another
Whether one has a single child, two, or more, it can be a good idea to acclimate the kids to one another in the same slow manner as you approach introducing the relationship, MDP notes. "Especially if the kids are close in age, you can get them together for play dates or dinners out under the guise of friendship, and it will likely go more smoothly.
Tip Four: Talk to Your Kids About the New Person's Role in Their Lives
Finally, MDP notes, couples will need to introduce the true nature of their relationship to their children as well as what that means with respect to one's significant other. Explains the rep: "Your children, when the time is right, will need to know about the long-term plans for the relationship. They will also need to know that, while this new adult isn't their parent, they are to be respected and obeyed within the family unit. That won't take precedent over the way you and your ex parent, but it must be present to minimize conflict and tension in the relationship."
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