Hal Spielman and Marc Silbert's Book 'Suddenly Solo' Reveals Surprising Data about Sex and Relationships

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Surveys of 1600 men and women over 55 spark candid conversation about what mature women really want to know about sex and aren't too afraid to ask. All-female event at Senior Planet Exploration Center reveals women's desires for intimacy.

Men expect sexual activity on the third date; women not until at least the 5th, however his studies also showed that 45% of women had sex with an acquaintance just because they felt like it.

Hal Spielman and Marc Silbert, authors of "Suddenly Solo, A Lifestyle Road Map For the Mature Widowed and Divorced Man," conducted surveys of 1600 men and women over 55 about sex and relationships. This comprehensive data sparked a frank conversation at the Senior Planet Exploration Center about what mature women really want to know about sex.The book, which was featured on The Today Show, is available at http://www.suddenlysolo.org.

“We were a little surprised by the women’s direct questioning,” said Spielman, “But they had the opportunity to bring up topics that were important to them as single mature women who are looking to engage in relationships.”

Some of the questions included:
How often should men of a certain age be able to do it? How do you bring up STDs? And with the ratio of men to women should you expect the man you are with to be monogamous?

“We handled these questions openly and engaged the women in a lively discussion,” said Spielman. “We also realized that many women turn to us for assurance that they are not alone in feeling the need for intimacy after coping with loss.”

Co-author Silbert was nonplussed at the often risqué questioning. "Our research has shown that sex remains an important part of life in this demographic,” he said. “I am thrilled that these ladies are so comfortable raising these issues.”

Spielman and Silbert definitely sanction women doing what makes them comfortable and happy on their personal timetable.

“Stop worrying about what friends and family think,” said Spielman. “It’s healthy to want to experience and share again. And each woman should be able to do what she feels is correct for her, without judgment.”

According to Spielman, while women are still more sexually conservative than men, ( men expect sexual activity on the third date and women not until at least the 5th) his studies also showed that 45% of women had sex with an acquaintance just because they felt like it.

Another question that women often raise with Spielman is, “Am I being too aggressive in making the first move?”

“Putting forth your interest or perhaps desires is not being aggressive, it is being assertive,” explains Spielman. “And that is very different. Most guys would be flattered that you are expressing a real interest. Remember that men are basically bashful about their feelings, so taking the lead might move things forward.”

While Spielman’s book is written for men, it is even more popular with women who are seeking insights into the male psyche. Filled with statistics, real life stories and smart advice, Suddenly Solo provides the results of numerous studies that bust many common myths about men and what they really want.

The book can be purchased at http://www.amazon.com, and for more information and to read the Ask Hal column, please visit http://www.suddenlysolo.org.

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