Believe it or not, it’s not always easy to know when you are in a toxic relationship. It takes most people a while to realize they are in a relationship that is slowly eroding their self-esteem, friendships and all the things that make them happy.
Beverly Hills, California (PRWEB) October 01, 2014
Beverly Hills licensed Clinical Psychologist and nationally recognized relationship expert, Dr. Kathleen Mojas is celebrating 20 years of private practice in her Beverly Hills office where she has assisted hundreds of people to achieve greater joy and fulfillment in their relationships. Dr. Mojas has released an important list of warning signs and suggestions for anyone who suspects they are in a toxic relationship.
Dr. Mojas explains: “Believe it or not, it’s not always easy to know when you are in a toxic relationship. It takes most people a while to realize they are in a relationship that is slowly eroding their self-esteem, friendships and all the things that make them happy. The lingering glow of the falling in love stage and the foggy goggles that allowed you to initially see your partner as the perfect person are still creating blind spots for you. Unfortunately, that means that for most of us it can be easy to miss the warning signs until you are deeply involved and fast becoming the target of more overt kinds of abuse.”
Dr. Mojas has identified a series of questions which she asks her patients to answer to help them take a closer look at their relationships: Have you felt that most the relationship revolves around your partner’s needs and expectations? Do you feel like all the problems/issues in the relationship are your fault? Do you feel your partner has put the relationship on “auto pilot,” while they give all their time and energy to work, hobbies or other relationships? Does your partner engage in secretive behavior and/or are often unreachable. Do you walk on eggshells, afraid to speak up if something is bothering you and feel you have to word everything you say very carefully? Has your partner ever hurt themselves or threatened to hurt themselves if you don’t give into their demands or because you brought up ending the relationship? Do they humiliate or put you down in front of others, then accuse you of having no sense of humor? Have you felt that no matter how hard you try to please your partner, it never seems to be good enough? Has your circle of friends dwindled to the point where you have few connections outside your relationship? Have you become estranged from family members you used to be close to because your partner complains about them? Are you frequently accused of flirting or cheating when you are at a social gathering or are out of their sight (when you are not)? Is your access to finances, transportation, work or social events controlled by your partner? Have you been told that, you are not yourself around your partner?
The more positive responses, the more likely her patients are with a person who relies on manipulation and control tactics. Dr. Mojas notes that they aren’t interested in in a mutually respectful and reciprocal relationship. They want control and power. As the relationship continues you are likely to feel more and more confused, anxious, depressed and even physically ill.
Dr. Kathleen Mojas is trained in a variety of cutting edge techniques to facilitate healthy relationships and help people overcome relationship sabotaging patterns. The foundation of Dr. Mojas’ approach is based on the importance of how our early relationships develop a blueprint for intimacy in our adult relationships as well as for our ability to cope with all types of stress throughout our lifespan. Find out more about toxic relationships and how to recover by visiting drkathleenmojas.com or call (310) 818-3305.