50 Shades of Freedom: Pros and Cons of Baby Boomers Choosing Divorce

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Many baby boomers are now choosing divorce in the winter of their lives. Edy Nathan MA, LCSW releases the pros and cons of making the decision to divorce later in life.

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If you were an angry or anxious person in the partnership, there is a good chance those emotions will follow you...

Life expectancy is higher in 2015 than ever before. This is causing unhappily married baby boomers to choose divorce over staying in a marriage that is emotionally annihilating. Faced with living in a partnership fraught with unmet desire, boomers are freedom seekers.

What they discover in their choice to take on life without a partner is that there are pros and cons to that decision. With the adage of "60 is the new 40", is 70 the new 50? The folks of the 1970’s “Me Decade” generation were powerful change agents. Losing site of their power, many have gotten way laid in partnerships that are no longer fulfilling, ultimately opting out of marriage for a life that reflects the strength and ability they had in the 70’s. The mystery is back, tackling the unknown as they enter into the winter of their lives.

Edy Nathan MA, LCSW speaks about what baby boomers may ultimately face on their road to freedom:

Pros

1.    Greater Autonomy: This enables exploration of the baby boomer's dreams and desires.
2.    Friendship Development: While new friendships can inspire growth, the old friendships can be reinvented.
3.    Self Esteem is enhanced: Making a choice to change an unwanted life can be a self possessing decision.
4.    Learning to soothe the self: Find ways to calm the self when anxious or sad.
5.    Sexual Freedom: Discovering a new sexual self.

Cons

1.    Regretting the decision to divorce.
2.    Role Uncertainty: Identity crisis may occur once out of the relationship, as there is no one to blame for the unhappiness.
3.    Negative social and familial reactions: Friends and family may not understand the choice to leave and may side with the partner being left.
4.    Potential financial strain: If finances were not planned ahead, there can be "sticker shock" when pricing living expenses.
5.    Grief, fear and depression: Leaving may not make everything better. Nathan states, “If you were an angry or anxious person in the partnership, there is a good chance those emotions will follow you unless you have worked them out in therapy or in a support group. As Confucius once said, “Where ever you go, there you are’.”

Big decisions can create transformation. Edy Nathan MA, LCSW offers this advice for baby boomers on the move, “If you have been thinking about leaving for a long time it is important to reflect upon the following: Plan for the disengagement from your partner. Make sure you have resources to support the decision to leave. Set an intention to provide the time necessary to decide where you will live, who your support team will be and if this is the correct choice for you. Prior to leaving, couples counseling can help you make the break with integrity.”

About Edy Nathan:
Edy Nathan is a licensed psychotherapist with over 20 years of experience specializing in grief. For two seasons she was the therapist on the A&E TV Show, “Psychic Kids”. She holds Masters from both New York University and Fordham University. She has post-graduate training from the Ackerman Institute for Family Therapy, The Gestalt Center and the Jungian Institute. She is a certified EMDR practitioner, regression therapist, certified hypnotherapist, relationship and grief expert. To find out more, visit EdyNathan.com.

For a complimentary meditation and more information about other topics related to grief, loss and trauma, please visit here.

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