The majority of problems in divorce are resolved by open discussion and compromise. Couples should carefully weigh what they are willing to sacrifice against what they ultimately want to gain out of the divorce.
LONG ISLAND, NY (PRWEB) June 14, 2016
Experienced Long Island divorce attorney and divorce mediator Robert Hornberger, Esq. revealed the two keys to preventing expensive, stressful and lengthy divorces. He states that in his years of practice, the two factors that play the largest role in acrimonious, expensive and lengthy divorces are a resistance to discuss issues and find compromises and feelings of contempt for their spouse.
Hornberger states that when spouses come to the realization that a divorce is imminent, it is critical that they address their negative feelings toward their spouse and find a way to approach their issues with a cooperative and problem-solving attitude.
“The right attitude tends to make all the difference when it comes to divorce mediation as well as settling issues in divorce,” Hornberger said. “When couples are able to communicate and compromise, divorces are completed more quickly, less stressfully, and therefore, less expensively.”
Hornberger points to a recent study by Dr. John Gottman, Ph.D. that found that the number one predictor of divorce is the presence of contempt for one another. While all relationships have a unique set of problems, a feeling of mixed disgust and resentment points to the likelihood of an eventual split if it is not resolved.
McNulty, a social worker and psychologist at the Gottman Institute, suggests that this toxic feeling be approached in three main ways:
1. by cultivating a sense of compassion or at least trying to consider the other spouse’s point of view
2. by finding areas where compromise is possible
3. by engaging in self-inquiry to gain insight into why a certain behavior ignites such strong aversion
Hornberger agrees and believes these strategies can play an important role in the divorce process as well.
“Utilizing these approaches can open the door for discussions that can promote more positive outcomes for all involved,” Hornberger said. “Unfortunately, in my experience, it is not always possible for both spouses to take the problem-solving approach; however, even if just one partner is willing and tries these techniques, the divorce process can become less stressful, time-intensive and costly.”
According to Hornberger, although many spouses wish to hold their ground on certain issues during divorce, the value that comes with compromise includes saving time, money, and stress.
“These benefits can far outweigh being the ‘winner’ of a long and acrimonious divorce battle,” Hornberger said. “The majority of problems in divorce are resolved by open discussion and compromise. Couples should carefully weigh what they are willing to sacrifice against what they ultimately want to gain out of the divorce.”
About Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., P.C.
The divorce and family law firm of Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., P.C. represents clients throughout Nassau County and Suffolk County on Long Island, NY in all domestic relations matters including divorce, divorce mediation, collaborative divorce, orders of protection, prenuptial and postnuptial agreements, child support, child custody, child visitation, and spousal support. With offices conveniently located on the border of the two counties in Melville, NY, the attorneys and legal staff at Robert E. Hornberger, Esq., P.C., are well equipped with the resources to successfully address any issue that may arise in a Long Island matrimonial or family law matter. The firm provides a free initial consultation and offers convenient and affordable payment plans where necessary. For more information, visit http://divorce-longisland.com or call 631-923-1910.