Single & Happy on Valentine’s Day: Study Reveals Singlehood is not Synonymous with Discontent

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A study by discredits the notion that being single implies that a person is miserable and dissatisfied with their life.

Single on Valentine's Day

Being single and happy is not an oxymoron.

If you’re single on February 14th, use it as an opportunity to reestablish a connection with yourself. Take it as a reminder to love and cherish yourself.

While some may argue that Valentine’s Day is one of the many holidays that has become commercialized, the fact remains that it’s a celebration of love that caters exclusively to couples.

Any single person walking by a florist, restaurant, or boutique two weeks before February 14th will be forewarned: Even the innocent, heart-shaped mylar balloon floating outside the florist shop is attached to something. However, research from PsychTests indicates that being single isn’t tantamount to misery and loneliness. Many single people are perfectly content being on their own.

Researchers at PsychTests compared the personalities and attitudes of 915 single people who took the Emotional IQ Test. The differentiating factor: One group was single yet completely satisfied with their life, while the second group was single and unhappy. Here’s where these two groups differed (Note: Scores range on a scale from 0 to 100):


  •     Score for the Single & Happy group: 83
  •     Score for the Single & Unhappy group: 49

Self-esteem is a major component of professional success and personal happiness. It’s also about having a healthy degree of self-love. A common problem is that many people seek out a partner in the hope that being loved and valued by someone else will encourage them to love and value themselves - but few relationships can thrive if one or both people struggle with self-esteem issues.


  •     Score for the Single & Happy group: 81
  •     Score for the Single & Unhappy group: 45

People who are single and happy are very resilient. Even if hardship brings them down, they don’t stay down for long. They bounce back quickly after going through a difficult time, and focus their energy on moving on…without dragging any remaining emotional baggage along with them.


  •     Score for the Single & Happy group: 87
  •     Score for the Single & Unhappy group: 56

Tying into resilience, single people who are happy tend to be excellent problem-solvers. Instead of lamenting over difficulties, they proactively look for solutions. They are more likely to view problems as challenges rather than as obstacles.


  •     Score for the Single & Happy group: 78
  •     Score for the Single & Unhappy group: 48

While happy single people are not necessarily perky Pollyannas, they do tend to have an optimistic outlook - they prefer to focus on possibility and hope. Even hardship and heartache have a silver lining.


  •     Score for the Single & Happy group: 35
  •     Score for the Single & Unhappy group: 65

Unlike their unhappy counterparts, single people in the happy group don’t obsess over their problems or worry too much about their future (a function of their positive mindset and excellent problem-solving skills, most likely). They are also not perturbed by their singlehood. They either believe that they will find someone eventually or simply don’t view a single life with condemnation.


  •     Score for the Single & Happy group: 77
  •     Score for the Single & Unhappy group: 47

Single people who are unhappy are more likely to have trouble regulating negative emotions and will often find themselves stuck in a bad mood. This makes it difficult to resolve problems, overcome hardship, and sustain a positive mindset - not to mention the fact that a negative demeanor could make them seem less approachable, which may be a contributing factor to their singlehood.


  •     Score for the Single & Happy group: 69
  •     Score for the Single & Unhappy group: 46

Single people who are happy don’t shy away from their emotions or from emotionally charged situations. They are in tune with what they are feeling, but they do more than just passively observe: They dig deep to learn more. Essentially, when they are feeling sad, angry or discontent, the people in the single & happy group want to know why. Understanding the primary emotion and motive behind their emotional responses helps them understand themselves better, adapt to their circumstances with greater ease, and even express those feelings with someone else.


  •     Score for the Single & Happy group: 77
  •     Score for the Single & Unhappy group: 62

Single, happy people know what makes them special. They also recognize and accept their faults, and take steps to improve themselves. They don’t cover up their shortcomings or use them as excuses to rationalize their actions (e.g. “I told you I wasn’t the type of person who likes commitment. That’s why I cheated on you.”)


  •     Score for the Single & Happy group: 77
  •     Score for the Single & Unhappy group: 49

People who are happy and single are driven. They take a proactive approach to life: Instead of waiting for something to happen, they take their fate in their own hands and make thing happen. This also means that should they choose to forgo the single life for a committed relationship, they will take concrete steps to create circumstances in which it is possible.


  •     Score for the Single & Happy group: 63
  •     Score for the Single & Unhappy group: 47

Single people who are happy tend to have a more flexible mindset. They accept that life won’t always go their way and, therefore, find ways to adapt. On a personal level, while the single, happy group is generally willing to compromise, they are not complaisant pushovers. This group knows how to pick their battles. They will compromise whenever possible, put their foot down when it is necessary, and let little annoyances go.

“Our single and happy group has a unique perspective and approach to life, and the personality traits that stood out in our study bear this out,” explains Dr. Ilona Jerabek, president of PsychTests. “They are better equipped to handle life’s ups and downs. They don’t base their self-worth on external factors, like relationship status. They take a constructive approach to problems, disappointments, and hardship, and they don’t repress, deny, or hide from their feelings - they embrace their emotional side. This group is highly self-aware and knows exactly who they are, what they want, and why they are special. They are also realists, so they are able to reconcile with how their life is vs. how they want it to be, yet at the same time, still maintaining a hopeful and upbeat attitude. And just to add a cherry on the cake, they also score higher on emotional IQ - 21 points higher to be precise, so that’s something to think about.”

“Valentine’s Day is a celebration of love, but it should not be limited to romantic relationships. The relationship you have with yourself is just as important - more so, in fact. Some people will undoubtedly dismiss that adage as fluff, but the undeniable truth is that having a happy, healthy relationship with someone else is going to be very difficult if you don’t love yourself. So if you’re single on February 14th, use it as an opportunity to reestablish a connection with yourself. Take it as a reminder to love and cherish yourself.”

Want to assess your EQ? Check out

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About PsychTests AIM Inc.
PsychTests AIM Inc. originally appeared on the internet scene in 1996. Since its inception, it has become a pre-eminent provider of psychological assessment products and services to human resource personnel, therapists, academics, researchers and a host of other professionals around the world. PsychTests AIM Inc. staff is comprised of a dedicated team of psychologists, test developers, researchers, statisticians, writers, and artificial intelligence experts (see The company’s research division, Plumeus Inc., is supported in part by Research and Development Tax Credit awarded by Industry Canada.

Ilona Jerabek, Ph.D.
President of PsychTests AIM Inc.
1558 rue Viel, Suite 103
Montreal, Quebec, H3M 1G5
tel: 514-745-3189, ext. 112

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Ilona Jerabek
PsychTests AIM Inc.
+1 514-745-3189 Ext: 112
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