Bonding & Belonging Leadership Presents New Ways to Develop Potential

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Because of the complexity and fast pace of today’s world, we must re-think the way we look at business, society and even friend and family relationships. That is why it is of critical importance to re-instate our own bonding and consciousness to achieve personal meaning and significance, so that we no longer carry on as mindless followers but rather eradicate our dependency on third party knowledge.

Bonding & Belonging
We have so much potential, but because we often feel insecure, we limit ourselves. That is why it is critically important to gradually drop into the subconscious mind, cultivating calmness or creating quiet moments each and every day.

The human brain is incredibly formable and modifiable – more than we ever thought possible. This means there is a much larger potential than we anticipated to face up to and then change the way we were educated or simply how we were brought up. Today we know, through numerous biological, bio-neuro-scientific and anthropological research studies, that we cannot deploy such potential on our own. We need other people – communities, teams, organisations or society – to assist us as we evolve.

It has been discovered that all the knowledge, the experiences, and the intelligence we ever discovered or were taught, showed, explained or had shared with us, is a profound matter collected from when we cooperate with others. This means, we would not even be able to talk or think if we were to ever depend solely on ourselves. We need others. We rely on others. It is what human beings are. Yes, our individuality is what makes us truly unique. And this ‘uniqueness’ that makes us so different, while being absolutely particular, is formed from a conglomeration of all that has been copied, borrowed and acquired from others: from our upbringing; and from third parties such as through our basic education, literature, philosophy, the arts, expertise, intelligence or the intellect from others.

In other words, without others we are nothing and useless and unable to survive, even though, ironically, we experiment with ways to become more and more individualistic. We only operate our potential at its highest when we cooperate with others. It is that level of bonding that gives us meaning, which unfortunately today has become increasingly superficial and artificial. That is why the individual human being can’t exist nor operate nor comprehend problems nor generate solutions on his own: we can only flourish and be nourished within social relationship defined by cooperation and inclusiveness. All in all, we are connected through many kinds of systems: human, wildlife and ecology, as well as consciousness and the subconscious.

Still, many of us experience feelings of being separated, lonely and disconnected. We tend to live an individualistic life, formed mainly by our upbringing: where and when and under what circumstances we were raised, whether some were evolving within an indigenous, remote and secluded habitat or within an industrialised environment or surrounded by social, political, cultural or economic misery. All of this provides significant indications of how we were raised and what we were taught and trained to use our potential, why some of us enrich ourselves entirely through others and cultivate this as a common normality. Hence, much of our shaping comes from our environment: how we feel safe, secure, inspired, calm and eventually serene; how we protect ourselves; how we behave toward others who are not part of our circle of belonging, those who are different in terms of race, ethnicity, language, nationality, society, community, village, organisation, family or friendships. Today acclaimed physicians acknowledge that tangible matter does not exist, because it is out of measurability. This means the intellect is the impulsive force, in fact is the real breakthrough of matter, not materialistic but intangible and more open.

Often, we forfeit exploring, discovering, striving to better comprehend. We are overwhelmed with the many choices and ideas we are confronted with, whether with diversity of products and services or the needs and wants we seek. Things quickly come and go and vanish, with something new already on the horizon. Not surprisingly, we lose the feelings of context and coherence and give up looking for solutions, give up trying to comprehend, because we are simply too overwhelmed with the complexity of ‘life’.

At the beginning there is energy, when structures were being built. So perhaps we need to ask ourselves, what is the sort of ‘matter’ that keeps everything together in our mind?

This means the most desirable activity of the brain is not thinking, it is to contemplate peacefully, and to render a calm state. This is the best state for feeling safe and secure and serene, for being inspired.

We have so much potential, but because we often feel insecure, we limit ourselves. That is why it is critically important to gradually drop into the subconscious mind, cultivating calmness or creating quiet moments each and every day.

At the end of the day, this is what makes us ‘unique’ and truly ‘ourselves’ with all our unique abilities, skills, talents and attitudes, although this requires lots of energy. But if we integrate and bond well with our closest community (family, friends, teams, organisations or society) we realise our potential, how well we can succeed, how we can contribute in the world. This fulfils us. So, it is critically important that we learn how to trust ourselves, so we can trust others and empower them to integrate their abilities, skills and talents. This is exceedingly satisfying and generates social well-being and high levels of contentment.

There is a list of 19 essential and nonverbal skills that I consider essential which can be learned and passed on from one person to another. These skills govern the raising of a child, forming of a community, persuasion of a sales call, the calming of a rage, the avoidance of violence, the recovery from trauma, the effectiveness of counselling, the capacity for empathy, the strength of a bond, the ability to focus and learn within the educational environment, inspiration at work or simply enjoying soothing moments, blending families, recovering from addictions and making up after something goes wrong.

We lead lives with different organisational and social systems, of different backgrounds, different talents and different skills, as well as different understandings and different values. So, let’s look in the same direction, introducing organisational and social development based on inclusiveness, participation, coordination, empowerment and contribution. This is where potential is nourished.

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Christian Kurmann
@bondandbelong
since: 01/2016
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