Despite the wisdom of making amends, many addicts refuse to do so – not because they’re stubborn or heartless, but because deep inside they’re terrified that others will see them as vulnerable and reject their attempts at reconciliation.
(PRWEB) February 04, 2014
Individuals who are recovering from addiction, or who have established themselves in a healthy new sober life, can read the latest blog post from Per Wickstrom for some practical and compassionate advice on how they can reach out to those who they’ve wronged – intentionally or unintentionally – in the hopes of making amends.
“It’s extremely rare for an addict to not reflect upon their past and see a legacy of damaged and sometimes broken relationships,” commented Per Wickstrom, who struggled with addiction in his youth. “And while there’s no way to turn back the clock and undo the anger, sadness and hurt, there is often a way to reach out and make amends.”
Per Wickstrom’s blog post provides the following key pieces of advice:
- Regardless of whether others are willing – or capable – of forgiveness, recovering and former addicts must nevertheless take ownership and responsibility for their actions. This doesn’t mean that they should replace feelings of shame with feelings of guilt. Rather, it means they should acknowledge that mistakes were.
- While there are exceptional people who can almost instantly “forgive and forget”, most people – quite understandably – need to work through their feelings before they can even consider accepting an apology; especially if actions like stealing, lying, and manipulation are involved. Addicts must appreciate that forgiveness for most people is a process, and that it may take several attempts and demonstrated action before any healing begins.
- Addicts must accept that some individuals simply may never be able to forgive, and that those individuals have that right. In other words, addicts cannot have it both ways: they cannot “demand” to make amends. They can only sincerely and humbly give others the opportunity to reach out and take the other end of the olive branch. If they refuse to do so for any reason, it’s their choice – and their right.
- In some difficult, high conflict situations particularly with family members, the services of a trained and experienced counselor or even a mediator can be invaluable. These people are professionally trained to help parties identify core issues and obstacles, and work towards resolving them in a no-blame, no-judgment environment.
“Despite the wisdom of making amends, there are still many addicts who refuse to do so – not because they’re stubborn or heartless, but because deep inside they’re terrified that others will see them as vulnerable and reject their attempts at reconciliation,” added Per Wickstrom. “My advice to those people is to make the effort anyway. Yes, it’s possible that some people – or maybe all people – won’t be ready to make amends. But do it anyway. Give others the chance. Even if they decide not to take advantage of it, the mere effort can be profoundly therapeutic and healing.”
The full text of Per Wickstrom’s latest blog entitled “How to Make Amends With the People You Wronged as an Addict” is available at http://www.perwickstrom.com/addiction/how-to-make-amends-with-the-people-you-wronged-as-an-addict/.
For additional information or media inquiries, contact Amber Howe, Executive Director BDR, at (231) 887-4590 or ahowe(at)rehabadmin(dot)com.
About Per Wickstrom
Per Wickstrom is the President and Founder of Best Drug Rehabilitation, a drug and alcohol rehabilitation center focused on helping individuals through holistic and natural methods. Per believes that it's never too late to turn your life around and do something positive with your life - he is living proof that hard work, perseverance, and a positive attitude can overcome any negative situation.
Learn more at http://www.PerWickstrom.com.