Bestselling Author and Unorthodox Matchmaker Hellen Chen (above) talks about the misconceptions of waiting for financial stability before getting married.
Somewhere along the line in the last two decades, marriage becomes less important than career.
Los Angeles, CA (PRWEB) March 13, 2015
According to a new report by the University of Virginia National Marriage Project called “Knot Yet: The Benefits and Costs of Delayed Marriage in America," the age at which men and women marry is now at the highest of all time —27 for women, and 29 for men.
The report revealed that Americans of all classes are postponing marriage to their late twenties and thirties for two main reasons, one economic and the other cultural.
Ninety-one percent of young adults believe that they must be completely financially independent to be ready for marriage.
Yet, there is an increasing number of working professionals who despite having some sort of financial stability, could not find the "right person" to settle down with.
Hellen Chen, marital expert and bestselling author, whose recent book "Hellen Chen's Love Seminar" became a bestseller in marriage and relationship books on Barnes and Noble, has a first-hand experience with men and women who have less than good luck in marriage.
"Somewhere along the line in the last two decades, marriage became less important than careers," said Chen. "Most people think that a marriage is something that will automatically happen once they have career achievements and once they find the right person. This is so far from the truth."
Having developed the reputation of assisting those who have had tough luck to tie the knot, the unorthodox matchmaker said, "Career accomplishments or financial accomplishments do not always equal making it in a relationship," said Chen.
Allison K was a typical example of a highly successful professional who had put marriage on the backburner. She had mainly focused on her personal interests and career ever since she was in her 20's. She had turned down many suitors because they were "not good enough." After going past 40 years old and finally wanting to settle down, she could not believe her suitors were down to zero.
"I was shock. I did not realize I had wasted all my chances where I could get married," she said.
Later she approached Chen for help and found her husband of today and she also became a mother of two.
"I would like to tell singles: don't think there is always someone out there. No matter how much you have accomplished in your career, you have to face the fact that you still don't have that perfect relationship," said Allison.
Chen talks about why modern dating is not working out, "Most people think there is always a better person out there. So they would spend 3-4 years dating, then break up, then spend another 3-4 years with someone else whom they think is better and break up again. And 10-15 years later, they accumulated only bitter experiences."
About the notion that it is better to wait to have more money before embarking onto marriage, Chen explained, "Family math is different. One plus one is always more than two. When you marry and then work together and produce together, you can create more economic stability. And having a marriage first is more beneficial in the long run than waiting until all ducks are in a row."
Chen has also seen countless marriages ended up in divorces despite both husband and wife being tremendously outstanding in their careers and having been touted as the "perfect" couple.
"Making a relationship last is not about luck or having financial success or career success. It is an ability that needs to be learned, no different than learning about one's profession," said Chen.
To bring her message about managing love and relationships, Chen had given over 200 international media interviews, has publications in 20 countries and also actively holds training workshops to teach singles and couples how to improve the quality of love in their life.
Her workshop "Hellen Chen's Love Seminar" helps working professionals to have a lasting relationship and is open to both singles and married individuals.
Her next event will be held in Los Angeles on March 21. For registration details, please call 800-912-0510 or visit http://www.MatchmakerOfTheCentury.com