Beachwood, Ohio (PRWEB) May 31, 2014
Next to the “terrible twos,” the tempestuous teenage years rank highest in terms of stress value placed upon families. And unlike the infamous infant season of discontent, parents often find they have much less control over the situation and much less input over their adolescents during those trying teenage years – especially when their teenager decides to be dramatic, moody, sarcastic or snide – a mood or phase today being described as “snarky.”
The good news is, even when parents have to exercise self-control themselves in how they react to their teenage son or daughter at this important developmental time in their lives, they’re still the parents and have experience and wisdom that can guide them as they help their children adapt to becoming young adults.
A new series of question and answer columns from noted author and therapist Dr. Carol Langlois gets into the heads and hearts of teens during their snarky years. Dr. Langlois suggests that one of the best methods for defeating the aggravating, obnoxious, temperamental behaviors and attitudes of moody teens is to build their self-esteem so that the teen can stabilize him or herself.
“It is rather ironic that as parents, we spend so much time trying to fix our children while we’re also asking them to act their age and to grow up,” Your Teen Editor-in-Chief Susan Borison says. “That’s why Your Teen Magazine really loves the counsel of Dr. Langlois on the topic of snarky teens; she helps us to remember our psychology at that time of life and how getting outside of themselves for perspective can bring confidence and self-esteem to teenagers. It’s strong advice that can make your teenager a better person not only now but for their entire life.”
Beginning with the article, “I Need Help with My Snarky Teenager,” Dr. Langlois recommends giving your irritable teen more space and a chance to process their emotions for themselves as they are discovering new feelings and situations they did not encounter in childhood.
The article is available here: http://yourteenmag.com/2014/04/snarky-teenager/.
As Dr. Langlois writes, “First, let me say . . . 13 is a tough age. At this age, teenagers are moody, overly dramatic and in some cases incredibly fragile. After a long day at school, where maybe your teen had a fight with a friend, got annoyed by a study partner or even scolded by a teacher, she needs a safe outlet. You know the expression 'you always hurt the ones you love?' Well…it applies here mom and dad. For good or bad, you are that safe outlet. I highly recommend giving your daughter more room at this age and not forcing conversation. Pick your battles wisely, but also draw a line in the sand for what is acceptable and what isn’t. You are still the parent.”
Dr. Langlois moves on to explain that a big key for helping teens who are testy, sarcastic or snarky can be to get them out of their “discomfort” zone through new and positive experiences.
In “My Teen Daughter Is Very Negative About School Day,” she writes: “The teens I see with the best adaptability skills tend to have one thing in common; they work part-time or volunteer on a consistent basis. Why does this impact adaptability? Because, you must be ready for whatever comes your way when you work or volunteer. You must be responsible, arrive on time and follow directions. You may be answering a phone one day and interacting with customers on the next day. Your teenager will be nervous in the beginning, but with time she will build comfort in the process. This in turn builds confidence and self-esteem. Then she will be ready to handle anything the school day brings and will move on to talking about other things after school.”
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Lastly, Dr. Langlois explains that the end of snarkydom comes as teen children discover they are more than capable of handling the hassles of the day, which comes from not quitting and by persevering to discover internal strength.
Dr. Langlois offers additional advice in “Is Quitting Ever an Option for Teens.”
“To raise confident kids, we must reinforce their success and failures; give them room to grow and build autonomy. Through this process, confidence will ultimately blossom. Then we must encourage them to take on challenges big or small and praise them for their successes as well understand their defeats. This is where their self-esteem will be tested. Remember, valuable life lessons come from failure. As Robert F. Kennedy said, ‘Only those who dare to fail greatly can achieve greatly.’”
About Your Teen Magazine:
Your Teen addresses the challenges inherent in raising teens and helps parents of teens to continue the journey toward the goal of successful parent. In the magazine format, parents can post questions, offer personal tactics and hear the different perspectives of professionals, other parents and teenagers on relevant topics. Your Teen hopes to ease the worry.
Your Teen is available at http://www.yourteenmag.com/subscribe and in select Barnes & Noble Bookstores.