“I Don’t Deserve Love” Study Reveals The Destructive Impact Of A Lack Of Self-Worth

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A study by PsychTests.com indicates that people who believe that they are not worthy of love and respect are more likely to struggle with major self-esteem, relationship, emotional, and behavioral issues.

People who believe that they are unworthy of love are more likely to lead very unhappy and unfulfilling lives.

“I don’t deserve love” is one of the most damaging beliefs we can adopt.

Believing that we deserve love begins with one crucial factor: A healthy degree of self-love and a strong sense of self-worth.

They are three seemingly simplistic words: “I deserve love.” Yet there are people who can’t bring themselves to believe those words, let alone say them, and this in itself speaks volumes about their character. Those who believe they are unworthy of love are not being modest, stoic, or poetic; they are denying themselves a fundamental need that all humans crave. Moreover, according to research from PsychTests the belief that one is undeserving of love can have a significantly negative impact on a person’s well-being.

Analyzing data from 6,712 people who took their Self-Esteem Test, PsychTests’ researchers examined two distinct groups: Those who believe that they deserve love and those who don’t. The differences between the groups were staggering:

  • 68% of people who believe they are unworthy of love also admit they don’t like themselves (compared to 6% of people who believe they deserve love).
  • 62% also think they are boring and uninteresting (compared to 14% of people who believe they deserve love).
  • 70% feel they are not good enough for anyone (compared to 16% of people who believe they deserve love).
  • 46% will change their personality, opinions, or appearance in order to be accepted by others (compared to 16% of people who believe they deserve love).
  • 42% have an intense desire to be liked by everyone (compared to 28% of people who believe they deserve love).
  • 60% have a strong need for approval (compared to 20% of people who believe they deserve love).
  • 54% give more weight to other people’s opinion of them than their own personal opinion (compared to 10% of people who believe they deserve love).
  • 57% also believe only attractive and/or successful people deserve respect (compared to 22% of people who believe they deserve love).
  • Along the same vein, 62% of people who believe they don’t deserve love prefer to associate exclusively with people who are successful and/or popular (compared to 24% of people who believe they deserve love).
  • 66% characterize themselves as a “failure” (compared to 9% of people who believe they deserve love).
  • 66% believe they are “worthless and useless” (compared to 10% of people who believe they deserve love).
  • 64% believe they will never achieve anything significant or become anyone important (compared to 8% of people who believe they deserve love).
  • 48% are devastated when someone criticizes them (compared to 12% of people who believe they deserve love).
  • 48% are extreme perfectionists (compared to 13% of people who believe they deserve love).
  • 60% have a strong fear of rejection (compared to 24% of people who believe they deserve love).
  • 37% will not admit when they have made a mistake (compared to 9% of people who believe they deserve love).
  • 54% avoid conflict for fear of upsetting others (compared to 28% of people who believe they deserve love).
  • 51% frequently seek reassurance from others before making decisions (compared to 38% of people who believe they deserve love).
  • 32% constantly ask for validation from their loved ones (compared to 19% of people who believe they deserve love).

“When you watch how babies interact, it’s not hard to see that they have an inherent sense of their own value,” explains Dr. Jerabek, president of PsychTests. “When they cry, there is no doubt in their minds that they will be comforted. When they are happy, they expect nothing less than for others to share in their bliss. In essence, we are born with an inherent understanding that we deserve love. Unfortunately, this assumption gets eroded in some of us. If we don’t receive the unconditional love and support we need from our parents as we grow, we begin to believe that love is conditional, depending on things like good grades, good performance in sports, unquestionable obedience, etc. We come to believe, especially during our teenage years, that to be loved and accepted, we have to look and behave a certain way. So we move through life believing that love doesn’t come easily, that we must fulfill certain conditions in order to be worthy of it, and the more conditions there are - many of which we place on our ourselves - the less and less we feel we deserve love.”

“Believing that we deserve love begins with one crucial factor: A healthy degree of self-love and a strong sense of self-worth. Without these, finding someone to truly love us, just the way we are, will be impossible. Once you start to treat yourself with love and respect, others will follow suit. You won’t abide by mistreatment; you won’t want to be around people who set conditions on their love, who want you to change to fit their expectations. You will set healthy, reasonable boundaries. You will be filled with such an abundance of self-love that love from others will simply be an added bonus.”

Want to assess your self-esteem? Check out https://testyourself.psychtests.com/testid/3102

Professional users can request a free demo for SEA - R2 (Self-Esteem Assessment - 2nd Revision) or any other assessments from ARCH Profile’s extensive battery: http://hrtests.archprofile.com/testdrive_gen_1

To learn more about psychological testing, download this free eBook: http://hrtests.archprofile.com/personality-tests-in-hr

To have these press releases delivered directly to your inbox, send us an email and we will add you to our mailing list: pressreleases(at)psychtests.com

About PsychTests AIM Inc.
PsychTests AIM Inc. originally appeared on the internet scene in 1996. Since its inception, it has become a pre-eminent provider of psychological assessment products and services to human resource personnel, therapists, academics, researchers and a host of other professionals around the world. PsychTests AIM Inc. staff is comprised of a dedicated team of psychologists, test developers, researchers, statisticians, writers, and artificial intelligence experts (see ARCHProfile.com). The company’s research division, Plumeus Inc., is supported in part by Research and Development Tax Credit awarded by Industry Canada.

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Ilona Jerabek
PsychTests AIM Inc.
+1 514-745-3189 Ext: 112
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