The words you use to describe yourself can have a significant impact on your sense of self, and how others treat you.
MONTREAL (PRWEB) August 21, 2021
Words have power. They can inspire and pull people out of the depths of despair or be responsible for putting them there in the first place. When people engage in frequent self-deprecation - calling themselves hurtful names, chastising themselves when they fail, criticizing their appearance - at some point, they will start to believe their own words. Like dripping water that slowly eats away at a stone, constant self-deprecation can destroy a person’s sense of self.
Analyzing data collected from 12,259 people who took the Emotional Intelligence Test, PsychTests’ researchers compared people who regularly insult themselves (Self-Deprecators) to those who don’t (Self-Appreciators). Here’s how the two groups compared:
SELF-DEPRECATORS ARE MORE LIKELY TO ACCEPT MISTREATMENT OR DISRESPECT FROM OTHERS
- 64% of Self-Deprecators consistently put others' needs ahead of their own, even if it leaves them feeling angry, resentful, or uncomfortable (compared to 30% of Self-Appreciators, a 34-point difference).
- 66% apologize even when they haven’t done anything wrong (compared to 26% of Self-Appreciators, a 40-point difference).
- 58% feel that people take advantage of them (compared to 13% of Self-Appreciators, a 45-point difference).
SELF-DEPRECATORS TEND TO HIDE THEIR TRUE THOUGHTS, FEELINGS, OR DESIRES
- 54% won’t express their opinions if there’s a chance that others will disagree (compared to 10% of Self-Appreciators, a 44-point difference).
- 61% hold back from expressing their ideas for fear of looking stupid or being ridiculed (compared to 8% of Self-Appreciators, a 53-point difference).
- 70% won't ask for what they want, such as a raise or more respect (compared to 28% of Self-Appreciators, a 42-point difference).
- 48% distance themselves from or suppress negative emotions (compared to 26% of Self-Appreciators, a 22-point difference).
- 54% avoid discussing sensitive topics for fear that it will blow up in their faces (compared to 10% of Self-Appreciators, a 44-point difference).
- 63% avoid confrontation/conflict (compared to 18% of Self-Appreciators, a 45-point difference).
SELF-DEPRECATORS TEND TO RUMINATE EXCESSIVELY
- 70% said that they spend hours ruminating about remarks people make about them (compared to 13% of Self-Appreciators, a 57-point difference).
- 81% over-analyze situations, finding problems that don't really exist (compared to 13% of Self-Appreciators, a 57-point difference).
SELF-DEPRECATORS TEND TO GIVE UP TOO EASILY AND ARE AFRAID TO FAIL
- 76% struggle to motivate themselves (compared to 32% of Self-Appreciators, a 44-point difference).
- 63% panic when given a task that is even just slightly above their capabilities (compared to 14% of Self-Appreciators, a 49-point difference).
- 56% start projects or goals that they never finish (compared to 11% of Self-Appreciators, a 45-point difference).
- 52% purposely set low expectations for themselves so that they won't be disappointed when they fail (compared to 4% of Self-Appreciators, a 45-point difference).
SELF-DEPRECATORS TEND TO STRUGGLE WITH MAJOR SELF-ESTEEM ISSUES
- 71% struggle with Impostor Syndrome (compared to 15% of Self-Appreciators, a 56-point difference).
- 77% constantly experience self-doubt (compared to 9% of Self-Appreciators, a 68-point difference).
- 60% are ashamed of how they look or behave (compared to 4% of Self-Appreciators, a 56-point difference).
- 53% change their attitude, behavior, or appearance in order to please others (compared to 10% of Self-Appreciators, a 43-point difference).
- 65% desperately want to be like by everyone (compared to 33% of Self-Appreciators, a 32-point difference).
SELF-DEPRECATORS TEND TO LACK MENTAL STRENGTH AND RESILILENCE
- 68% struggle to bounce back from failure, rejection, or disappointment (compared to 8% of Self-Appreciators, a 60-point difference).
- 52% hate change (compared to 16% of Self-Appreciators, a 36-point difference).
- 57% have been formally diagnosed with depression, or are currently feeling depressed (compared to 14% of Self-Appreciators, a 43-point difference).
- 64% have been formally diagnosed with anxiety or are currently struggling with anxiety (compared to 22% of Self-Appreciators, a 42-point difference).
SELF-DEPRECATORS ARE EXTREMELY DISSATISFIED WITH THEIR LIVES
- 50% are never satisfied with what they have achieved (compared to 15% of Self-Appreciators, a 35-point difference).
- 49% are feel they have no control over their lives (compared to 5% of Self-Appreciators, a 44-point difference).
- 61% can't figure out what they want out of life (compared to 14% of Self-Appreciators, a 47-point difference).
- 74% are pessimists (compared to 10% of Self-Appreciators, a 64-point difference).
“The words you use to describe yourself can have a significant impact on your sense of self, and how others treat you,” explains Dr. Ilona Jerabek, president of PsychTests. “If you talk about yourself in a manner that is harsh, disparaging, or just plain mean, you’re essentially feeding your own mind - and other people’s - with suggestions that at some point will become part of your identity. Imagine, for example, that you fail at something - a disastrous dinner, an unsuccessful project, a horrendous result on an exam. You chastise yourself for messing up or call yourself ‘stupid’. You ruminate about it for hours and days, until it sinks in and you internalize this one event as a general fact about yourself. What happens is that the more critical you are of yourself, the more afraid you will be of such challenges in the future. You will start to believe that you don’t have what it takes to succeed, that you ‘always screw these things up’. If you continue reinforcing this cognitive pattern rather than challenging it in your inner chatter, it will become entrenched in your belief system. And when this happens, it can do a lot of damage to your self-esteem and breed fears that hold you back from fully living your life.”
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About PsychTests AIM Inc.
PsychTests AIM Inc. originally appeared on the internet scene in 1996. Since its inception, it has become a pre-eminent provider of psychological assessment products and services to human resource personnel, therapists and coaches, academics, researchers and a host of other professionals around the world. PsychTests AIM Inc. staff is comprised of a dedicated team of psychologists, test developers, researchers, statisticians, writers, and artificial intelligence experts (see ARCHProfile.com).