A desperate need to be liked often stems from a lack of self-love.
Being loved by everyone is not a prerequisite of happiness…quite the contrary, in fact.
MONTREAL, Quebec (PRWEB) November 28, 2020
Wanting to be loved, and to belong, is a basic human need. It comes with the promise of physical and emotional security, companionship, and an extra pair of hands on moving day. However, there’s a delicate balance that needs to be struck between the desire to be loved or liked, and the need to be liked. A study conducted by the researchers at Queendom.com indicates that people who are insistent upon being liked by everyone they meet tend to have lower self-esteem, are less happy, and are less resilient than people who don’t seek collective approval.
Analyzing data from 12, 259 who took their Emotional Intelligence Test, researchers at Queendom focused on two unique subgroups: People who really want to be liked by everyone (“High need for approval”) and people who don’t (“Low need for approval”). The two groups were then compared on 30 emotional intelligence factors, revealing a number of noteworthy differences:
(Note: Scores range on a scale from 0 to 100. The higher the score, the stronger the trait/skill. Average scores for each group are shown.)
SELF-CONCEPT
Self-esteem
> Score for the High need for approval group: 55
> Score for the Low need for approval group: 75
Self-efficacy
> Score for the High need for approval group: 57
> Score for the Low need for approval group: 75
Self-confidence
> Score for the High need for approval group: 52
> Score for the Low need for approval group: 69
Assertiveness
> Score for the High need for approval group: 45
> Score for the Low need for approval group: 62
STRESS MANAGEMENT
Positive Mindset
> Score for the High need for approval group: 57
> Score for the Low need for approval group: 71
Contentment
> Score for the High need for approval group: 53
> Score for the Low need for approval group: 69
Resilience
> Score for the High need for approval group: 63
> Score for the Low need for approval group: 78
Adaptability
> Score for the High need for approval group: 50
> Score for the Low need for approval group: 63
SELF-REGULATION
Self-awareness
> Score for the High need for approval group: 59
> Score for the Low need for approval group: 71
Self-control
> Score for the High need for approval group: 48
> Score for the Low need for approval group: 63
Self-motivation
> Score for the High need for approval group: 55
> Score for the Low need for approval group: 72
Obsessive Rumination
> Score for the High need for approval group: 63
> Score for the Low need for approval group: 36
“There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be liked,” explains Dr. Jerabek, president of PsychTests, the parent company of Queendom. “Most people want to have friends, to be in a loving relationship, to connect with their coworkers, or to get ‘likes’ on social media posts. However, if this desire becomes obsessive to the point where you get very upset if someone doesn’t want to be friends with you, or you go to great lengths to be liked - changing your appearance, fading personal boundaries, eschewing your values or posting dangerous stunts on social media in order to get one’s 15 minutes of fame - then it’s a problem. Evidently, it’s hard to accept when someone doesn’t like you. But that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you - it’s just a case of two people, two personalities, not melding very well together. Wanting everyone to like you is simply not feasible…and shouldn’t even matter. Just focus on the love you have, even if it’s just from one other person, or a pet. Better yet, aim to love yourself more rather than seeking it from everyone else.”
Want to assess your EQ? Check out https://www.queendom.com/tests/access_page/index.htm?idRegTest=3978
Professional users, such as HR managers, coaches, and therapists, can request a free demo for this or other assessments from ARCH Profile’s extensive battery: http://hrtests.archprofile.com/testdrive_gen_1
To learn more about psychological testing, download this free eBook: http://hrtests.archprofile.com/personality-tests-in-hr
About PsychTests AIM Inc.
PsychTests AIM Inc. appeared on the internet scene in 1996. Since its inception, it has become a pre-eminent provider of psychological assessment products and services to human resource personnel, therapists, academics, researchers and a host of other professionals around the world. PsychTests AIM Inc. staff is comprised of a dedicated team of psychologists, test developers, researchers, statisticians, writers, and artificial intelligence experts (see ARCHProfile.com).
